November [Larry Stylinson AU]

Chapter 15

Addiction is something everyone struggles with, even if they don't realize it. It's just that some people struggle with it more. Some people manage to go as far as to dying because of their addiction, and Louis didn't want to be one of them. Addiction was a loss of control. And if there's anything Louis hates, it's losing control. 

Maybe that's why it took him so long to admit he was an alcoholic. He was ashamed to say he couldn't control himself. He was embarrassed and feared losing people because of his addiction. Not only would they be ashamed to be his friend, but he'd be the buzzkill of every party. Not able to participate and go out for drinks. It's a wreck. 

 The worst part, however, is making himself stop. It was easier the first two or three weeks. He got the hang of it and managed to avoid drinking, but then at Zayn's party, he was tempted once again. Luckily Niall was there to stop it before anything happened, but if he wasn't there...Louis would have caved. Which was sad to admit. Now it was harder than ever. He was tempted and that was the problem. 

After the almost slip up, things got worse. Way worse. 

 He didn't tell Niall, but he was losing it. He had to stay in a lot and avoid going out, because every time he did, he wanted to buy alcohol. He never realized how much he was relying on drinking. It's like that itch you can't scratch; he wanted something he can't reach, but it's there, begging to be taken. 

 What makes it even harder is that he hasn't told Harry at all. It was stupid and he shouldn't risk another 'secret' but he can't help it. 

After Harry found out he was Blue William, things were on the rocks already. Harry is okay with the 'lie' (even though he technically told him), but he could tell there was a bit of bitterness after that. It faded, but it was there. The problem is that he didn't want to add something else to their stack of trust issues. 

Not only that, but they're sort of dating now. Which was crazy on its own. Louis has never been in a relationship, so he was definitely fearing the idea of it. They're not official, but he can tell they're getting there, if Harry's building affection was anything to go by. It just sucked, because Louis didn't know how to act. Especially when he's so stressed over not drinking and had the strong urge to relapse. 

It didn't help that Harry was constantly asking him to go out for drinks and Louis always had to come up with lame excuses that left Harry curious, but not upset at least. Harry hasn't noticed his tense behavior yet and he wanted to keep it that way. 

 Which is why he was thrown off when he heard someone call his name from the intercom at the office, only to tell him he had a visitor. He expected it to be Niall or Liam, but much to his surprise, it was a wavy-haired boy with a little bag that looked like it was full of food. 

 "Hi," Harry said, dragging the word out with a cute smile. "Surprise!" 

 Louis blinked, nodding slowly, "Yeah, definitely a surprise." 

 Harry shut the door behind himself, biting his bottom lip. "Sorry for uh, dropping by? I figured you were hungry and it's lunch time and I have a break before my next lecture. I thought I'd surprise you with some food." 

 "Thanks," Louis said, gulping back a heavy sigh. 

 It's not that he doesn't want to see Harry, but he's very irritable right now and he didn't want to seem ungrateful. Sometimes people just aren't in good moods, and his was worse due to his eagerness to down a glass of vodka, but he feared making Harry upset. He knew Harry would assume it's because of him, and he wouldn't blame him for thinking that. Anyone would firstly assume they did something wrong. 

 Harry sat the bag down on the desk, careful to not lay it on anything. He grabbed a chair and sat down across from the boy. 

 Louis asked slowly, "How did you know where my office was?"