↔IMPULSE↔

↔Finding Out↔

Blake came home from school alone for a change while Reese was working at his part-time job at the movie theatre and his parents stood with grim expressions.

"Hey, Mom, Dad. What are you doing home so early?"

They didn't say anything, his father had his arms crossed in his suit and Mom wouldn't look at Blake. It was worrying. He forced a smile, his nerves making his palms clammy. "What's wrong?" When they still didn't answer him he bit the inside of his cheek, "I'm going to change, I'll be back down to talk in a sec."

Blake went up to his room to change his clothes when he saw them. Suitcases in front of his bed and an empty closet. His heart pounded in fear and he dropped his bag and ran downstairs. "Mom, Dad! Why are my clothes packed up? Are we going somewhere?"

Mom finally looked at him, "Um, Blake, you'll be staying with your grandparents for a while..."

"What? Why?"

His father just held up a black tape without a word. Blake paled when he saw it and he felt like throwing up. Father said in a dangerously calm voice, "care to explain this?" It was titled, 'Blasse Cuteness pt.8'.

Blake couldn't say anything, so his father continued on in the same satirical voice, "apparently, there are nearly twenty parts of this series that go back to your freshman year. However, it's a bummer that your mother and I can't even make it through one—"

"Where did you get that?" Blake asked in a trembling voice.

Looking at the tape in his hand, Father gave a faux surprised look, "Oh? This? Mrs Lenoir was looking for a movie Nikki borrowed and instead found a treasure trove of tapes like this— And, you know how nosey Mrs Lenoir is so she watched this and was just as appalled as us."

Mom just stood silently, looking at the ground, "no..." Blake said softly, "No, no, no, please don't send me to New York!"

Father threw the tape onto the ground making Mom flinch, sending plastic pieces ricochetting and a loud sound filled the otherwise silent house. "Why? So you can keep fucking a guy?!" Blake flinched at his father's roar and looked at the broken tape on the floor. A bitter laugh, "never mind, you must've been the one getting fucked!"

Blake's throat was tight but he managed to talk, "don't make me leave, please!"

Father's hand slammed against the wall and both Blake and his mother flinched. "Don't want to leave him, eh? Do you like getting fucked that much? By that hippie brat?"

His chest hurt, "don't talk about Reese like that!" His vision was blurred with scalding tears. 

Another deafening roar, "do not raise your voice at me! Especially to defend that bastard!" A small 'eek' escaped his mother and she covered her ears. "You are going to New York and that's final!"

Blake turned to his mom, "you're really going to ship me off? Mom!" When she turned her head away from him Blake felt a jab of betrayal and tears burned his cheeks. "I love him! I don't want to go!"

"Disgusting! You love him?! It's repulsive! I didn't raise a fucking ponce!"

Blake felt a lot of things, betrayal, hurt, anger, sadness. He clenched his fist, "I'm graduating in six months! Reese and I have been together for three years, I'm not breaking up with him!"

"So you'll forsake your family?! You'll turn your back on your own blood for some barren relationship with a heathen?!"

Blake screamed back at him, "you're damn right I will!" The room fell silent and his mother looked at him at last with wide eyes like she had an electric shock. Blake wiped his tears on his sleeve and sniffled, "you're the ones turning your back on me!" He was crying, his breath hiccuping and painful sobs filling the house. "You only care about this because you think it makes you look bad!"

"I will not be talked to like—!"

"NO!" Blake screamed, "the world isn't going to end because I'm in love with another guy!"

In a measured voice, "you're going to New York. After you graduate, I don't care what you do. Maybe you'll get over this filthy phase your going through."

Three years is considered a phase?

Blake needed to talk to Reese before he was shipped off to his grandparents. His parents certainly wouldn't let him, even though he was eighteen, his parents paid for his school tuition and signed forms for his A.P. classes. Even if he stayed, he wouldn't be able to graduate without help from his parents.

He needed to graduate so he could go to college with Reese and get a degree for a job. He would never be dependent on Reese, his pride as a man wouldn't allow it. But six months! Half a year without Reese seemed like an impossible task.

He spoke, trembling and crying, "...I'll go..." Sniffling as he choked down sobs, "after I graduate, you'll leave me alone, right?"

Father's cold stare, his lip curled in distaste, "yes. I'll leave you alone."

Blake dragged himself upstairs to his room, closing the door and sliding down to the floor. A dam of emotion breaking as he cried. He hadn't full-on cried for a long time, and by crying he meant ugly crying with a contorted face and snot dripping as he muffled his sobs with his sleeve. The fresh memory of his mom looking away from him, his father's words, they all hurt. 

Above all, he just wanted Reese. He wanted Reese to come to hug him to his chest and pat his head telling him it would be okay. He wanted to be in Reese's slightly messy room, laying in his bed as they read comics in their boxers or camping on the beach with him, telling jokes and kissing as they roasted marshmallows.

All of this was painful and Blake felt completely alone in his own home even though his parents were just downstairs. He came to realise, this wasn't 'home'. It was where he grew up with his sister, had all his birthdays, spent his holidays, but it wasn't home. The old firehouse with the ugly, yellow couch and the Vaungh family. That was home. It was bumping into Gabe in the hallway, Winnie making them breakfast, Mickey greeting them half-asleep, Reese singing in the shower, Archie throwing popcorn at him. That was his home and he had to leave.

It's just six months. Blake repeated this thought until it didn't even feel like an actual thought. He hoped that if he said it enough times that it would seem like such a long time away. In New York he'd still be able to call, be able to hear Reese's voice and he'd have pictures too.

"Ngh, I don't want that..." Blake whispered with a quivering lower lip. He bowed his head, hiding his red and tear and snot-streaked face. Why couldn't they have found out after graduation? 

God, this was a fucking nightmare.