These Are My Orders. (#WATTYS2019) [COMPLETED]

What Am I To You? Chapter 26

Namjoon and Jin get home after a long day of helping Jimin and Jungkook pack up Jungkook's belongings. They both flop down on the sofa with Namjoon snuggling up into the crook of Jin's arm while Jin runs his fingers through his boyfriends hair. All is quiet in Namjoon's apartment as they just sit like that for awhile relaxing after the hard work. Then Jin breaks the silence.

"I'm so happy to see Jimin and Jungkook happy together."

"Yeah, Jungkook needed to find someone good for him and he got lucky with Jimin." Namjoon says. "Jungkook dated way too many bad seeds. None of them cared about him. I think they all just thought of him as a good looking fuck and that was sad for him. He really was in love with the one guy too and he just really put Jungkook through the ringer. I mean, seriously? Who just up and walks on a relationship because someone asks for a moment to think."

"Yeah, but Jungkook wasn't going to go anyway. Maybe he knew that and just figured it was easier to just leave." Jin says.

"Maybe. But that was a pretty shitty way of doing it. Jungkook deserved better from him but that's just it. None of those guys were better for him. I think he's found his soulmate. Don't you think?" Namjoon ponders.

They fall silent for a moment.

"Well Joonie, what do you think of us?" Jin asks.

Namjoon thinks for a few moments while Jin continues to run his fingers through Namjoon's hair.

"I guess we never really talked about it, huh?" Namjoon says.

"No, I don't think we have. I feel like we just fell into patterns that were comfortable for us but we never really said what it means to either of us. We've never talked about how we feel about each other. Are we in love? Are we just experimenting? Are we just friends with benefits? I don't know and I'm just as much at fault for not speaking up for us, but seriously, what am I to you?" Jin asked.

Again another period of silence.

"Well Jinnie, you make me feel comfortable. Cared for. Desired." Namjoon says.

"Joonie, we've been together over a year and gotten this far. Can't you tell me what your heart feels?" Jin asks a bit timidly.

"If you are really asking me if I love you then the answer is 'Yes, of course'. I can't imagine a day without you in it. I can't image a moment like this not existing. I don't want to. I do love you Kim Seokjin. With all my heart. I'm sorry I never said it before today and it took two of our friends taking their relationship to another level for me to realize I do love you dearly." Namjoon says looking into Jin's dark brown eyes.

A smile crosses Jin's face.

"I love you too, Joonie. I love you for the same reasons. You make me feel comfortable, cared for and desired. I think we were afraid to say what was in our hearts because we were afraid of losing what we have. Don't you think?" Jin says planting a kiss on Namjoon's forehead.

"I do, but what does that mean for our future?" Namjoon asks. "Where do you see us going?"

Jin throws his head back on the sofa looking at the ceiling and pondering that question.

"Ah, Jinnie, you don't have to answer right away. Give it some thought and I will too. We can talk about it later." Namjoon says.

"That's the thing Joonie. We have pushed this off and maybe we really need to deal with it now." Jin said.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just putting words to all this is kind of scary, you know? I'm afraid we might disagree and it will all be over." Namjoon says.