Closing Time IV

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Apparently, Craig's house was our base. His house felt a bit more empty without Iris. And Alfie was upset about the loss of the female too.

"I'm going down the shop. We've run out of milk. You know what to do if he cries." Craig throws a mobile phone to me and leaves.

"No." Iris does though.

"Me neither."

Alfie cries. What am I supposed to do with a crying baby?

I head up to his room, "Hello, Stormageddon. It's the Doctor. Here to help. Shush. Hey. There, there. Be quiet. Go to sleep. Really. Stop crying. You've got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the nine to five, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boy-o." Oh, no. That was crabby. "No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end." 

I pick him up, "You, Alfie Owens, you are so young, aren't you? And, you know, right now, everything's ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don't actually look like that, you know. They are rather more impressive." I sonic up a holographic starscape, "Yeah. You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it's fair to say in the language of your age, that I lived my dream, I owned the stage, gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie."

"Your dad's trying his best, you know." He coos, "Yes, I know it's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands. No, neither do I." What is that sound? It's not Alfie or one of his toys is it? "Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?"

The Cybermat gnashes its teeth at us, "Oh, no you don't." I sonic it.

"Come on, Alfie. Run! It's only stunned." Cause, a human baby can run at this age? I need to quit being old!

I rush to the kitchen, "It's going to be okay. Good Alfie. Yes. Don't worry about anything. We're going to go outside."

Dammit sonic! Too many things! If only I had an extra pair of hands.

"Come on, Craig, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up." He doesn't I am left on voicemail, "Craig? Don't worry. Alfie is fine. But on no account enter the house."

"Doctor!" Why didn't you pick up the phone? Oh, that was hypocritical of me...

"Help me!" I put Alfie in his baby bouncer and crash through the glass door.

And I stick the landing!

"Where's Alfie? Where's Alfie?" What happened to that 'no paternal instinct'?

I rush to get stuff, "He's safe. He's safe!"

"I think I can find the right frequency, shut it down again!"

"Kill it!"

"All right, all right, all right! Move!" I hit the Cybermat with a large pan. It leaps onto me!

I fight it off, "Baking tray, Craig. Baking tray!"

Craig gets the tray and they get the Cybermat onto the floor under it, "Hold it down!"

*Meanwhile*

"You stupid machines! I told you not to harm the Doctor and his friends! That just pisses him off!" I yell at them, they almost seem to flinch away. Good.

Scarface walks over to me, "Theory shows Doctor protects friends. Theory shows he will come to them."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah! And kill who ever is out to harm them." I sigh, "This Doctor has been stalling too long. He has become cold-hearted. In order to get his help, you need to prove that you have changed."

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