art || vkook || discontinued

worth a try

jungguk knows that his friends are worried about him, that they’re not going to leave him unattended for a good while. they’ve sung this song before, watched jungguk spiral into a state of self-destruction. they stood at the boy’s bedside both times he had been made to stay a week in the hospital and tended to the wounds that adorned his wrists upon release. he wishes that there was something that could be done about it- to fix his head, to make him hate himself even the slightest bit less. the sadness that shines in the tall man’s eyes causes jungguk’s throat to tighten, guilt flooding every part of his body. the youngest of the three panics when namjoon turns to face him, immediately diverting his gaze downwards. he picks at his fingers, afraid to meet the deep brown eyes of the man in front of him.

“gguk, why didn’t you call me?” namjoon’s voice comes out with delicacy, radiating kindness. jungguk, blinking back the tears that begin to accumulate in his eyes, takes a step backward. “hey, it’s alright. i’m not mad at you, i just want to know.”

“i didn’t think you’d care,” he whispers. “i didn’t wanna bother you with something that didn’t matter.” a gentle hand, its owner leaning forward sympathetically, lays upon the upper part of the boy’s arm.

“you should know that’s not true. i care so much. if you had called me i would have dropped everything to make sure you were safe.” jungguk doesn’t respond, he fears that he’ll only cry if he attempts to. namjoon sighs, though he doesn’t force the younger to voice his thoughts. “i will always care. it doesn’t matter what i’m doing, it doesn’t matter what time it is, or where i am, if you need help, you call me and i will be there, understood?”

jungguk nods, allowing himself to be pulled into a hug by the red-haired male. the warm embrace is all that it takes for his tears to fall.

“i’m sorry. i’m such an idiot.” the boy sobs into his friend’s shoulder, unable to suppress his emotions any longer. “i'm selfish and useless and-”

“jeon jungguk don't you dare say those things.” namjoon's voice is stern as he pulls away to look the younger in the eye. “all of those things in your head, gguk, you have to shut them out. none of it is true. i need you to realize that.”

“i can’t.”

“yes, you can. you just aren’t trying hard enough.” the taller of the two sighs when jungguk shakes his head. “come on, gguk.” he pulls the boy into another tight embrace, his eyes flitting to where yoongi stands a few feet away. the older nods towards him, knowing what his roommate wants to do.

“jungguk,” the blond begins, “we think you should get help, like, real help.” the youngest, shaking his head in frantic disagreement, immediately pulls away from his friend.

“jungguk, please, you have to try.” namjoon gently persuades.

“no. no way. i can barely talk to you guys about this shit, how the hell am i supposed to talk to some random person who-”

“you already did, gguk, with taehyung.” namjoon interrupts the panicking boy.

“that’s- you can’t use that. he pulled me off the edge of a building. i wasn’t thinking straight. if it had been-”

“enough, jungguk.” the harsh tone in yoongi’s voice causes him to cower into himself. “i’m sick of this shit.” the blond rakes an aggressive hand through his hair. “do you know how many fucking times i’ve not been able to sleep at night because of you? do you know how fucking scared i get when you don’t answer your phone because all i can fucking think is ‘maybe i actually lost him this time.’?” sobs escape the mouth of the youngest once more as yoongi continues to rant. “i have to constantly stop myself from going over to your place because i dread the day that i’ll walk in and be greeted by your dead fucking body. gguk, i can’t do this anymore. i’m fucking terrified that i’m going to lose you and i can’t. i just can’t.”