art || vkook || discontinued

disgusting

trigger warning.

mentions of abuse and mild instances of self harm.

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jungguk's stay in the hospital lasts eight days and he is miserable the entire time. he hasn't been allowed to do anything. no phone, no television, he can't even read a book. the boy feels like he could cry when the doctor concludes that his shutdown period can end. taehyung laughs at the younger's excitement, teasing jungguk before handing the boy his phone. the first thing he does is reply to yugyeom's frantic messages, updating the other on his condition

word of what happened had spread like a wildfire, yugyeom explains. he informs jungguk that there are a lot of people worried about him, but, at the same, there are plenty who say he deserved it. jungguk isn't surprised by this, he knows that there's copious amounts of resentment for homosexuality in korea, his school campus is no exception.

"who are you texting, ggukie?" taehyung's sweet voice pulls the boy's attention away from his phone.

"yugyeom," jungguk smiles at the older, "he's a friend from school."

"not to sound rude, but yoongi said you don't have any friends at school. did you never tell him about yugyeom?"

"uh, no," taehyung's statement makes jungguk laugh, "i just got his number last week, the day all of this shit happened." he gestures to his own bed-bound body as he speaks.

"was he there when you-"

"when i accidentally told everyone that i'm gay? yeah, he was. but, tae, listen," jungguk decides that now is the time to voice his thoughts of the past week, "i can't be."

"you can't be what?" taehyung cocks his head in confusion.

"i can't be gay." taehyung looks bewildered by the statement. "i have to find a way to not be gay."

"jungguk, that's not something you can change." taehyung steps forward until he's at the side of jungguk's bed.

"i have to. they were right. it's not normal, tae."

"where is this coming from, ggukie?" taehyung grows more and more concerned with jungguk's every word.

"they had a point." the older eyes the boy, brows furrowed, "they said that i'm disgusting and, now that i think about it, they were right."

"no they weren't, jungguk." taehyung struggles to keep himself calm, anger creeping into his mind. he's not angry at jungguk, he's well aware that the boy isn't thinking straight, he's angry at the people who made him have these thoughts. "those people are in jail for what they did because it was wrong. there is no way to justify them attacking you. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay."

"says you." jungguk scoffs, convinced that he's right.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"your roommate is gay, of course you'd say that." taehyung is taken aback by the younger's bluntness. "doesn't make it any less disgusting."

"so jin is disgusting?" taehyung's voice is quiet, his throat tight, "jimin is disgusting? i'm disgusting?" tears spill down the man's cheeks, "because i'm gay, too, jungguk. does that mean i'm disgusting?"

"i guess so." jungguk's voice is void of emotion.

"yeah, okay, good to know." taehyung wipes his face with the back of his hand, trying, but failing, to rid his cheeks of tears. "i'm gonna get going. yoongi will be here in an hour or so. i hope you get well soon, jungguk."

jungguk watches taehyung leave with empty eyes, gaze fixed on the door even after the older closes it behind him. silence consumes the room and several minutes pass before jungguk realizes the things that came out of his mouth. he scrambles for his phone, ignoring the pain that shoots through his head, and hits taehyung's contact name, hoping that the older will answer. the calls are sent to voicemail the first, second, third, and fourth time that jungguk tries, but, on the fifth attempt, someone answers. the voice that sounds, however, is not taehyung's.