art || vkook || discontinued

fix this

yoongi is scared for jungguk, terrified. based upon the look that adorned the face of the boy’s therapist he can say that their session earlier in the day didn’t go well. jungguk hasn’t spoken a word in almost a week, doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep. he spends his days locked in the guest room of namjoon and yoongi’s apartment. each time they check on the younger they find him face up on the bed, eyes dull, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling. the only indicator of life within the boy’s body is the slow, shallow movement of his chest. yoongi has taken to force feeding jungguk, not wanting to have another hospital bill to send to the younger’s parents.

namjoon shares yoongi’s fears. the redhead has seen this happen before, has watched, helpless, as a person has rotted away. namjoon had been at yoongi’s bedside when it happened, had seen the older turn to skin and bone, weighing in at only a little more than one hundred pounds of his original one hundred and thirty. it had been a horrendous sight and a painful six months of recovery. namjoon has no intentions of experiencing that a second time.

the moon is high in the sky when yoongi knocks on the door that conceals jungguk from the rest of the world. he doesn’t expect an answer, but he hopes that the boy on the other side of the door is willing to listen. he’s been preparing himself to address the younger since the early hours of the evening; he knows that they can’t let allow jungguk to persist in his self neglect. someone has to ring in the truth and yoongi has decided that he’s the one who should do so.

“i know you’re awake, gguk, so i’m just gonna talk,” the blond presses his back against the door before sinking down to sit on the carpeted floor, “you’ve got me and joon real worried, kid. i know you’re upset but we need you to try.” he sighs, leaning his head back. “i don’t want you to end up like me. you didn’t see what i had done to myself until i was almost half way through the recovery process, and i never told you just how bad it was. i did just what you’re doing now. i locked myself away and ignored every warning namjoon gave me. i didn’t realize it was killing me until it was almost too late.” yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, hating the memories of those torturous months.

“i don’t if that’s your goal here, i hate to say that i won’t be surprised if it is, but i need you to think about what you’re doing here, gguk. you’re not just hurting yourself here. think about what it’s doing to me and joon and your parents, even taehyung,” everything always leads back to taehyung, yoongi thinks, “imagine how he’ll feel if i have to tell him that you’re gone. he’d blame himself, don’t you think? he’d hate himself for never calling you, for letting it happen. do you want to put him through that?” the blond hears movement from inside the room.

“what would it do to joon if he has to watch another person he loves fade away? he’s lost enough in his life. do you really think he’ll make it through if he loses you, too?” yoongi takes a deep breath before continuing. “and what about me? you’d be okay with abandoning me? leaving me without my other half?” the man hates to play the guilt card but it’s all he has left at this point. “how did you feel when you thought you were going to lose me? when i hated myself so much to the point where everything i did was destroying me? because that’s how i feel right now, jungguk.” he stops when a sudden idea pops into mind. he thinks he’s figured out how to fix this.

“you don’t have to do or say anything for now, just think about what i said, that’s all i ask.” yoongi stands, his knees popping as he does so, and makes his way to his own bedroom where he throws on a sweatshirt.

“where are you going?” namjoon gives the blond a puzzled look from his spot on the couch.

“you’ll see.”

yoongi walks down the single flight of stairs that leads to the well lit parking lot where his car waits. he slips into the driver’s seat, praising his good memory as he begins the short journey to his destination. the seven minute drive seems a lot longer than it actually is, each moment that passes feeling like eternity. he doesn’t care how late it is, he just cares that he achieves his goal. the man eases his car to rest parallel to the curb once he’s in front of the familiar building and makes a beeline for the top floor.