art || vkook || discontinued

girlfriend

jungguk walks onto his school campus, wanting to be anywhere but. after being able to sleep in during the break, resuming his schedule of early mornings and late nights is the last thing he wants to do, but, of course, he has to finish his education if he wants to get anywhere in life. that’s what his parents tell him anyway. he keeps his earbuds in place as he maneuvers through the chattering college students, not wanting to interact with any of them. sure, he has people in school that are kind to him, people that he’ll spend time with in between classes, but, overall, he finds the occupants of the local campus to be irritating.

he had been dragged out of bed by yoongi, who had taken the liberty of breaking into jungguk’s apartment this morning. the boy had been unmotivated, not wanting to leave the comfort of his home. he would have been fine with laying on the couch and staring at taehyung’s painting all day, but his older friend wasn’t going to allow that, so, here jungguk is, brand new textbooks in his arms, replaying yoongi’s short pep talk in his head as he makes his way toward his first classroom of the day.

the weekend was spent locked away in his apartment, not in the right mindset to do anything but watch reruns of old shows. he ate little during those two days and seldom moved from his spot in the living room. his blank gaze had been focused on one of two things the entire time: the television in front of him or the painting hanging beside him. after his therapy session jungguk had felt drained. it had felt good to let it all out, but, at the same time, it had hurt like hell. he returned home friday refusing to speak and dragging his feet. his friends hadn’t tried to persuade him to do anything, yoongi had been the same after his first session, but when the weekend ended jungguk was forced to stop sulking and get on with his life.

he slinks to the back of the classroom, sitting in the row furthest from the front. he watches as other students flood him, some familiar, most new. a few of them smile and greet him but don’t approach. the desk beside jungguk’s remains empty until a minute before class begins. the boy looks up and gives a slight smile to the newcomer who he recognizes as kim yugyeom.  the two had been in the same literature class the previous year and got along fairly well. jungguk is put at ease knowing that this class won’t be as torturous as he thought it would be.

“what’s up, jungguk?” the boy’s voice is almost childish. his soft and welcoming tone helps to comfort jungguk.

“same old.” both boys pull notebooks from their bags, preparing for the first day of class to commence. “my job is boring, my friends are crazy. the old lady next door hasn’t told me to get a girlfriend in, like, five days, though. i think that’s a new record.”

“she really still pesters you about that?”

“yeah. it’s annoying.” jungguk slumps back, watching the professor write something on the whiteboard up front.

“maybe you should do it though, get a girlfriend, i mean.” yugyeom pokes jungguk in the arm, one eyebrow raised. “you’re attractive enough, i’m sure it’d be easy for you.”

“i don’t know, gyeomie. it’s not really my thing” jungguk sighs.

“you can’t stay single forever, dude,” the younger uses his pencil to continue to prod at the boy beside him.

“i won’t. i’ve been in a relationship before. it just didn’t stick.” jungguk thinks back to his first, and only, boyfriend.

they had been together for over a year back when jungguk was sixteen and seventeen. the boy had given his everything to minsoo. it was one of those cliche stories: his first kiss, his first time, his first love, minsoo was all of them. they had been happy, or, at least, jungguk was. the day before their fourteenth-month minsoo told jungguk that he had decided he wasn’t gay. he hadn’t stopped there, however. minsoo took the opportunity to tell jungguk everything he hated about him, and the boy took his every word to heart. his front teeth stick out too much much, his eyes and nose are too big for his face, his cheeks are fat, and his lips are too thin. his laugh is annoying and his voice is too babyish, his lisp is irritating and he acts too much like a little kid. jungguk believes every one of minsoo’s insults, even now. words like that become all the more painful when they’re said by someone you love.