Part Two

33

💥Jay's Point of View

My mind was going crazy this past week. It was like when things couldn't get any messier, all this happened and showed me I hadn't seen messy at it's all time high.

Bey was pregnant. Pregnant. How did I feel about this? Uncertain. Uncertain because I was uncertain about how we were meant to bring a new life into the world with everything going on. I was happy that the love of my life, my wife, was carrying my child again because I wanted all my children to come from my wife but a child couldn't save a marriage. Bey was still adamant on getting a divorce and I was trying my hardest to change her mind. We could still make this work for us and our family but on the other side of course I had Sephora and Chanel, both of which had no idea I was expecting a child with Beyoncé.

I knew I made a mistake in doing that messed up shit with Sephora but I thought I could annul it and get it fixed before Bey found out. I was a terrible husband and a terrible father. The girls found out and it wasn't from me, and Bey found out and it wasn't from me either. I'd failed them all and they deserved the truth and the honesty I knew I should've given them.

I'd sat the girls down and explained to them what was going on but I couldn't get through to Bey. She hated my ass for everything I'd done and I couldn't blame her but she also meant everything she said in the Bahamas and I knew she didn't just turn off her feelings just like that. I was hoping that this divorce was one of her impulsive thoughts but she was sticking to it and I didn't want it.

Today was B.B.'s graduation day and I couldn't believe that within a few months she'd be moving out and off to college. It was like she was flying into the world in front of my very eyes but she needed to spread her wings and fly. She had the dedication and determination when she put her mind to it and through the chaos, she managed to sit all her exams. I didn't know how she did it but she did and I couldn't be prouder of her.

Bey and I had to go to her OB/GYN appointment before we made it to B.B.'s graduation. This little one was making a grand entrance in around six months and this was going to be our first proper check since the faint last week.

"You nervous?"I asked Bey to start conversation.

"It's my fourth child,"she rolled her eyes at me and I sighed. She was still giving me attitude and I deserved it after what I put her through but we had to make it work for our kids. A baby couldn't save a marriage but we could still try. I wasn't staying with Sephora and I knew that. I'd risked losing Bey too many times to let her go this time.

"Good morning. My name is Dr Carson. Mr and Mrs Carter, how are y'all?"she shook our hands. Bey shifted on the bed and we looked at her. "Did I say something wrong Mrs Carter?"

"No,"I eyed Bey. "There's just been a lot going on. My wife is just stressed at the moment,"I rubbed my hands together.

"Well if we can start...Mrs Carter can you please lift up your dress as I put this sheet over you?"

"You can call me Beyoncé,"Bey smiled at her. My face dropped and I frowned at her. We weren't getting a divorce, period.

The doctor used the wand to feel around Bey's belly after putting the gel on her. The screen showed Bey's womb and I saw my child for the first time ever.

"Look at my little man in there,"I chuckled.

"It's a girl,"Bey smirked.

"It's a boy Beyoncé. I can feel it in my heart, guts, body, mind and soul,"I confidently nodded.

"You said that about the last three pregnancies,"she laughed with the doctor shaking her head.

"But I mean it this time and Blue was meant to be a boy. Maybe this is God giving me what I was meant to have 10 years ago,"I shrugged and she laughed again. This was the first time Bey and I were speaking to each other and it felt good. We were literally rebonding over the baby and I knew the baby couldn't save us but I wanted us to work. I swear, I'm not giving up on her.

After the scan we immediately began to make our way to B.B.'s graduation which was starting in two hours.

"You ready?"I asked her as she buckled her seatbelt and she nodded.

"Tony,"I knocked on the partition and he started the car driving to the girls' high school.

"Bey I wanna talk about us. Obviously not now because things tend to get heated between us and it's B.B.'s graduation but I love you and I don't want to lose you. I don't want a divorce,"I spoke softly.

"Jay I'm 3 months pregnant, trying to get the man who faked my death and nearly killed me, who also happens to be my father to admit that he committed a crime so he can go to jail. My daughter's graduating and going to college in the fall, I've got a demanding 15 year old who has already started planning her birthday party, I've got a 10 year old who still needs my attention but may now have to balance me with another child. I have two businesses to run but now I have to reconsider how to give you your share back and split that shit sharp enough to make sure we never have to do business with each other again. Oh and my husband is married to two women. In case you haven't noticed, 'us' wasn't at the top of my list so I'm not stressing over us. Just be prepared for it,"she huffed grabbing a bottle of water from the bar. I folded my arms and stayed silent. She wasn't having any of it but neither was I. I was trying to be there for her but she was keeping me at arm's length and the only time we spent together was over children. Whenever I'd come over to her house she'd tell Solange to tell me to leave and she'd ignore all my calls and texts unless she was certain it was about the girls.

"How's everything going with Mathew now? What did the detectives say?"I changed the topic. Seeing as that was one of the things at the top of her list I was trying to show that I still cared and her pushing me away wasn't going to make me stay away. She shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"They're saying he's denying everything and he's all lawyered up. I don't know why he needs a lawyer when the evidence is right there. He needs to admit to it but I don't know how. I don't want to be anywhere near this man and the thought of him being in the same hospital room as me still makes my skin crawl,"she shivered.

"What about your lawyer? I mean, is it going to go to court? I'm worried about you and the kids. You can't be stressed out and pregnant,"I looked at her.

"My lawyer is fucking up and if he gets off then I don't know what I'll do. I can't have him around me,"she wiped a tear and I removed her hand to wipe her tears for her.

"You spent an hour on this makeup shit. Don't go fucking it up now,"I teased her and she laughed through her tears. "You know you don't have to do this on your own. You've got your mom and sister but Solo's getting to her third trimester and your mom is busy with the salon. If you're not good then I'm not good and the kids aren't good so whatever you need, I'm down for. Don't think about nothing else, just call me when you need help,"I held her chin and she slowly nodded with a slight smile.

She took another swig from her bottle before placing it back at the bar until she stopped.

"What is this?"she picked up the papers looking through them. I watched her read what the papers said in silence and waited for her reaction. I didn't mean for her to find them but I was reading them in the car and I didn't want Sephora or Chanel to go snooping and find them.

"Jay?"she held them up looking at me. "You were being serious? If you're not even properly married then why do you need these papers? They look like divorce papers,"she questioned.

"Of course I was being serious. You're the woman I want to be with,"I frowned because it was like she didn't hear a word I said. "We're not married but we're in a civil partnership. I can't lie, Sephora's smart, because she surprised me with this shit so she is entitled to anything and everything. I'm trying to work my way around that so she doesn't get anything and everything because anything and everything goes to you, my wife. I need to break this partnership but even if she does get some assets, as long as I'm with you then I don't care anymore,"I told her and she looked away.

"So when are you planning to give it to her?"she passed the papers to me. I'd already signed the dotted lines but it was Sephora's signature that was missing.

"I need to find the right time and now's not it. Between you, baby boy, the girls and Mathew, Sephora only comes to mind when I see her at home. But I'm working on it, I promise you,"I folded the papers and put them in a folder.

"If you say so,"she crossed her legs looking out the window.