Part Two

28

🐝Beyoncé's Point of View

After the boisterous beach party we gathered ourselves and got ready for the birthday meal. My girls and I were wearing red and Jay was wearing a black velvety tux that matched the material of my dress. I don't play when it comes to my family coordinating because we have to look in sync with each other.

Café Martinique was a European and Caribbean restaurant we always had the means to go to in New York but never did. The day had been packed with photos and fun and the dinner was a way of unravelling and drawing the celebrations of the day to a close.

"I'll have a Bahamian lobster tail with French green beans please,"I ordered my main meal. Jay looked at me like I was crazy and I smiled at the waitress handing her my menu.

"Has everyone ordered?"she checked with everyone and we all nodded. "I'll be back with your meals but it may take a while,"she informed us before leaving our table.

"Your expensive ass just spent $65 on a lobster tail, not even a full lobster,"Jay smacked his lips.

"And? Doesn't my happiness mean anything to you?"I smirked at him feeling on his suit jacket. My husband looked fine as hell and it was a shame that he was wasting it all on Sephora's brick head ass.

"But $65 Bey. That can get Blue three of the roller skates she's been asking for,"he complained and I rolled my eyes.  Jay had always been frugal with his money, no matter how much he had.

"Boy bye, I'll buy the roller skates if it makes you happy,"I looked over to my daughters laughing and having fun. Jay and I bought her a half-glass of wine as she was now legally able to drink and we didn't want her to feel as if she had to drink behind our backs and lie to us.

"Y'all should we make speeches before the food comes and everyone get the itis?"Mama G suggested and we all agreed.

"Girls why don't y'all go first?"Mama asked them and B.B.'s best friend Kenya stood up.

"Well I think it's fair to say that I speak on behalf of all of us when I say that B.B. is one of the greatest friends any of us could ever have. She's always there assuring us whenever we get worried about something, she continues to help us revise and makes sure we understand the topic and she always has our back. I've known B.B. personally since 4th grade and I'm so proud of what she's become. We love you and welcome to the 18 club,"we clapped and B.B. and Kenya hugged each other.

"Bella and Blue?"I looked at them.

"Well, now you're 18 you can sneak me a few drinks,"Bella winked at B.B. and Jay cleared his throat. "I was joking,"she laughed. "But happy birthday sis. You've always been there for us and you've gotten me out of a few situations that I was in. You've always had my back and best believe I'll always have yours. I love you!"Bella blew her a kiss.

"B.B. thank you for being the best big sister ever-"

"Girl I'm still here, don't forget me,"Bella put her hand on her hip and we laughed.

"Thank you for being one of the best big sisters ever. You're always making me laugh and making me happy when I'm sad and I hope your boyfriend can make you happy too. I love you to infinity and beyond,"B.B. hugged her sisters and Jay looked at me.

"What boyfriend?"he whispered.

"I'll tell you later,"I brushed it off.

It went in the order of Julez, Solange, mine and Jay's mom and finally me and Jay.

"Bey? You wanna go first?"I stood up pulling my dress down.

"What can I say? There was a time when I never thought I'd be able to see May 4th 2018 but I'm here and I'm so honoured,"I felt tears coming but I dabbed my eyes. "Gloria all this time you have been 'Baby Bey' or 'B.B.' as everyone calls you, but at the age of 18 you have become better than what I was at your age. I'm so blessed to be looking at you everyday because not everybody gets a daughter like you. You're headstrong and you never give up on what you believe in. Even though I missed out ten years of your precious life I'm still proud of you. I'm honoured to be your mother and I love you so much. Happy birthday Gloria,"I wiped a tear. B.B. wiped her tears as she got up and walked over to hug me.

After I sat down it was time for Jay's speech. As he got up I quickly posted something on my Instagram to commemorate my baby's birthday. I noticed Jay's phone ringing in my clutch purse because the fool always filled up my purse with his shit like his keys and phone. I got it out under the table and saw it was Sephora calling. I declined the call and blocked her number. I didn't need the trick ruining tonight for my family because she wasn't a part of the family. Not in my family anyway.

"Happy birthday baby,"I heard. I looked up and saw Jay and B.B. hug each other.

Eventually our food came along and we enjoyed our meal together.

"Aye did my phone ring?"Jay asked me and I shook my head. Half an hour later all of us were finished with our mains.

"Can we get dessert in about twenty minutes please? I think I already got the itis,"Solange rubbed her stomach exhaling.

"I think I'll pass on this one. I've eaten too much all day and I'm getting tired. Are y'all going to the resort party after this?"I asked the girls and they nodded.

"I'll walk you. Shit, I'm tired too,"Jay stood up.

"Uh oh. And in 9 months time..."Solange trailed off sipping her juice.

"Girl bye, I'm tired,"I got up grabbing my purse. We both walked out after saying our byes and good nights to everyone and went straight to our suite.

"Bey wait, let me get a picture of you here,"he caught my attention as I made my way up the spiralling staircase. I paused and slightly turned my head as he snapped a few photos. "Alright I'm done,"I playfully rolled my eyes as I continued.

We finally made it to our suite and I kicked my heels off.

"Today was a good day. This is the first birthday since-"I sighed as I felt the waters coming. I was more than emotional today because this was something I never thought I'd see. That's why I went all out to make sure B.B. enjoyed every second of her day.

"I know. It's important to all of us but I know how you feel,"I struggled to unclasp my necklace with my red acrylics. I felt Jay come up behind me and help me so I dropped my hands to my sides.

"It made me think all about family and how important y'all are to me,"he wrapped his arms around me and I leaned my head back.

"Even me?"he joked kissing my neck.

"Even though I brought hell to you when I came back, if anything happened then I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I don't want to lose you,"I confessed.

"So what are you trying to say?"

"That I love you,"he turned me around and stared into my eyes.

"But...I thought that..."

"I love you Jay,"I blinked hard. "And I tried to stop myself from feeling like this because I was angry and I even contemplated divorce but I can't fight it. I want you. I want our family. I want us to be that husband and wife we were ten years ago,"I felt a tear trickle down.

"What the old lady at the jazz club said had me thinking. She thought we were still together and I'm not talking about the fact that we're still married. I want us to look back at this in ten years time and look at this as a crazy, distant memory. I want us to grow old together and even if you have your gold teeth I'll still love you,"I laughed and he chuckled. "I can't let this love go. Who wants a perfect love story anyway?"

I waited for him to say something but he just gazed at me without saying a word. I felt stupid for pouring out my emotions and he couldn't even give a reaction or expression. It was like everything was just floating around the air and he heard me but he didn't listen to me.

It was a good few minutes of silence so I forced myself out of his grip and stormed off to the bathroom. I cried silently feeling regretful and embarrassed while wiping my makeup off. His silence confirmed to me that he didn't want any of that and he was comfortable just having sex with me. I thought I could finally put everything to rest and we could start over but it was clear he wasn't ready for that.

I came out the bathroom having wiped my makeup off and taken my dress off. As soon as I walked into the bedroom Jay grabbed my hand pulled me in for a kiss. We fell onto the bed and I arched my back leaning into the kiss.

We pulled apart and I looked longingly into his eyes.

"I love you too,"he breathed out.