Letters to Life: Letters written to a loved life

a decision.

i am happy. i am cheerful. i am strong. i am wonderful. i am incredible. i am fine. i will stay fine. i will reach there. i will make it. i will become all the things i want to be. i will become all the things they keep me from being because they are scared of my abilities. i will get past it. i will accomplish. i have the power. i have the influence. i will get over them. i will fight. i will conquer.

i am happy. in this moment i am happy. i know there will be another grenade and it might blow my mind upside down again. i know another shoe is going to drop and its weight might tilt my vision. i know something solid is going to bang my head again and it might get my world spinning. it might sweep me back into that darkness. that depression. or it might be just another close call and i might be able to dodge it.

probably most of it will come crashing down on me again. but in this moment i am happy. you might argue that i am not. yes maybe. maybe i am not happy. but this one time it is not a phase. it is a decision. and i decide to be happy. cheerful. strong. wonderful. incredible. i decide to be fine and i have the power to be fine. in this moment I AM EVERYTHING I DECIDE TO BE. and this moment matters. for now it matters.

— not a phase. A DECISION.