Mr. Used Love

Chapter 3: A Dinner to Remember

Alex's POV
I poked at my salad, playing the charade since I knew Thomas was likely coming back soon.
"Thanks again, guys. I really needed time and understanding." I blushed slightly knowing I was an idiot for taking this long.
".. But I realize how unhealthy Thomas' actions are and the way he treats me isn't right either."
"Of course, Alex. And we know you're an idiot," says Hercules.
Lafayette responds with a gasp and backhandedly slaps his fiancé on the shoulder.
"What was that for?!"
"We just got our Alex back, let's not regress to last year."

The time I'd spent absorbed in Thomas and not talking to anyone.

"Now who's the idiot?" I cockily said towards the arguing couple with a smirk that came out of nowhere.

"You guys. You have me back for good. No more ignoring you, besides I think you two would be out a best man."
I tried to seal the deal with another light and genuine smile.

Hercules & Lafayette stared at me in shock yet again. "What'd I do now?"

We all share a good loud laugh, bringing tears to our eyes.

Then it came crashing down.

My eyes were closed from the tears and I felt something come down on my shoulder. Hard.

I opened my eyes, it's Thomas and I giggle trying to not show my fear. After the quick giggle, the three of us get ourselves together and I add a smile aimed towards Thomas.

"Someone's feeling better."

Lafayette grins softly, I nod gently and lay my head back on Thomas' shoulder as he sits down. Unfortunately, he can't just leave it at that and is in a good and humiliating mood.

"Huh, baby?"

I sit up and stare away from him, grab my water, and take a sip. Really, Thanks?! Luckily these weren't my parents we were with.

My fork continued scraping around the plate again. Decidedly I choose my food as the source of my attention and focus only on that.

He really needed to do this now, in public. If he's humiliating me again then he had a bad call. If he was doing this here and now than he'd probably try to beat me again too.

"Hey, Alex if you'd like you can come over. We can hang out tonight at our place, maybe get some dessert and watch a movie later?"

"Thomas, would you mind if I hang out with them? I haven't hung out with them in forever, " I add a pout towards him to show that I really want too.

"Sure, just call me when you need a ride home."

At last some freedom, maybe I could go to sleep tonight with hurting! Wait, calm down Alex. Afterall you might have to go back home tonight...

"If the movie takes us too long, you can also sleep over for the night. We have the couch or the guest bedroom open for you."

I silently look at Thomas hoping he was okay with it. Please, please let me go for a night. I'm practically begging him purely in my imagination. This is no longer a joke, I want to get away. Even if I can only get away for a night.

I need to get away at this point

I don't like this situation

I don't like having to ignore my friends

I hate not seeing Laurens

I hate fighting with him

I hate not being near him

I hate worrying him

I hate not being there to love him

I don't like Thomas.

I really have sent myself up for change, now that my thoughts have expanded past 'I have to be here or else something bad could happen'. I think I'm allowed to be free, allowed to love the one man I think I actually love.

I look up to see everyone else done with their food, while I'm still picking at the salad. The waitress finally comes over with the bill. Oddly, Thomas pays for all four of us. Then we start to head to the door.

"I have to use the restroom real quick," I said mainly to Thomas.

"I have to pee anyway." No, Thomas please don't follow me in.

I feel an itch, an urge, a want to simply get the fuck away from that man. I know what he'll do to me.

I walk to the bathroom as quickly as I can and rush into the stall because I can feel an attack coming on. Of what, I don't know.

Anxiety.

Panic.

PTSD.

I know he's going to come in here, tell me his version of a 'goodbye', beat me, and walk out.

And so I know my fate.