Mr. Used Love

Chapter 12: A Punch in the Face

John's POV
*Art belongs to Fidi's Art*
*TW: Mentions of Abuse*

Before I could even begin to think or see what was going on anywhere around me, I knew I saw Alex.

Before any sensations, I felt Alex's breath.

Before anything, we were kissing.

Me? John.

Him? Alex.

Together and intimate for the first time in almost a million years. 

Sweet, tender, desperate, and truly caring.

When my brain had caught up I reached my hands up to hold up Alex's head and bring him closer. For minutes, I held him up and he seemed to levitate in the warmth of our interlocked lips. Both desperate and seeking each other, after months he was back. I felt like we were back for a few moments more. Our lips opened together and in a second of anxiety, Alex reached up and touched my neck almost hesitantly. I could tell Alex was gaining confidence as he wrapped his hand around me, this time with more sincerity. We held each other close as we rememorized every inch of ourselves once again.

Like being dragged to the bottom of the ocean, we both felt ourselves losing oxygen by the second. The need deeply engraved into our hearts, but the need to breathe engraved in our brains, the two instincts fighting each other. Our lips begged for a minute apart but I don't think even Alex wanted that himself as he personally continued kissing me. Following the absolute bliss, I suddenly felt the sweet release and relaxing sensation of breathing. However, I realized that Alex had shoved me from him.

"Crap! Uhm, we shouldn't be doing this. We should stay friends right now."  He began to hunch over and ball himself up.

"Oh, of course..." I couldn't help but feel extremely awkward and rub the back of my neck.

"Yeah... It's too soon..." Alex twitched in the corner of my vision.

"Alex...?"

I couldn't hear clearly what Alex was saying, his voice like static on an old radio. He had somehow managed to make himself seem smaller than ever before. Now he had balled himself up and shaking in utter fear.  However, more then my own fear I heard only one word that confirmed his previous words but also what was going on.

"Thomas?"

It now donned on me that he was having a flashback to the man who abused him.

Alex couldn't get a break and I know I made things worse.

"Hey, Alex? It's me, John, you're right and I'm here for you as a friend whenever you need. That's what today is about." He seemed to stop shaking in response to my talking, but as soon as I stopped I noticed the shift.

"I don't like the silence..." Timidly he responded and I knew what to do here and now.

Quickly, I began to ramble on and on to simply allow Alex to hear the sound of my voice. Anything to calm and help him. That's what I'm here for, nothing else. Right now I need to focus completely on him.

"Hey, when you feel safe tell me if you're comfortable with me checking how on you are, okay?"

"Wait! You want to start now?!"

"No, I just wanted you to hear that while I was rambling. However, now that I have your attention tell how you're doing. You know, friendly conversation?"

"Oh, thank you." At that moment I saw the best smile not only in the world but the best from Alex I had ever seen.