Mr. Used Love

Chapter 2: Dinner Plans

"Alex, come on!"

"Give me a minute."
"Your friends aren't going to like it if we're late. Come on fat ass!"
I flinched at the words and stared back in the mirror, my face was worse than ever. I had a black eye and a bruised cheek.
"Hurry up, dumb ass!"
I finished covering up my face in makeup then looked in the mirror again to see if I covered everything. I looked down into the sink, I don't even look like myself anymore.
I opened the door and walked to the front door and grabbed my shoes, putting them on. Thomas walked over and put his shoes on. Before I could open the door, he pushed up my chin, getting me to look at him. He roughly pushed my head from side to side. I closed my eyes.

He's going to hurt me again.

He then took his hand off my chin and opened the door for me.
In the car it was quiet, I could tell he had a bad day at the office. I had the day off to recover. It was a long ride and finally, we got there.

"You can go in and meet your friends, while I find a fucking parking spot."
"Okay..."
I got out and went inside the restaurant. I saw Lafayette and Hercules and walked over.
"Hey, guys."
"Hey."
"How are you? We never see you anymore." I could tell Mulligan was tiptoeing around what he wanted to say.
"Why are you wearing makeup, Alex?" Lafayette getting straight to the point.
I could feel all the questions rising back up in my mind. All the questions I've been asked.
"Okay... works been crazy."
"Alex, you're still avoiding questions. Talk to us," said Lafayette
"Uh, well..." I fiddled my fingers.
"Want to talk somewhere else? It's okay we can go to our table now, so the three of us can talk. No Thomas."
"Okay." I gave in, they were often the 'dad' friends.
He got up and put a hand on my shoulder.
"We're here for you, anytime, 24/7."
"Okay, thank you."
They walked me to the table. We all sat down and they really wanted to help me, I could tell.
"So, Alex what happened?"
"With?"
"The makeup. The bruises."
"It's more like who." Hercules tried to help him.
"Oh... Thomas got mad and threw a book, he didn't see me at the corner. It got my eye."
Laf gasped.
Hercules sat there waiting for more.
"He said he was sorry. It was my fault. I wasn't doing what I should've. I made him mad, and he had a bad day at the office."
"Well, he's making your life worse."
"Hercules!"
"It's true. He's now wearing makeup for what a book? Even if I was mad I wouldn't hit you, Honey."
"He didn't hit me!" I squeaked up
"Herc, please. Alex, he's just trying to look out for you, just like I am. Please, we just want to hear your story." He grabbed Herc's hand rubbing it with his other.
"We're sorry, Alex." They say together.
I know that, why do they feel the need to tell me over and over. I'm hungry. And my side hurts from last month, still.
"It's fine, I know you guys are just helping me out. And I'm sorry, too. I need to get out or at least get close to getting out of this, I guess."
But I love him. So, he got mad. So what, he said sorry. Hell, he was the one who let me stay home, all the times I needed to recover. I could tell he was sorry. He even cried after the first time he "punched" me. Even though I told him, he wasn't trying to hit me. He was trying to hit a wall, but I tried to stop him from hurting himself.
We ended up cuddled up on the couch with almost all the small blankets we had in the ottoman and our bed blanket. That night was cold, we stayed in, watched movies, and held each other.

"Really? Alex, we've been waiting for you to get Laurens back!"
"Uhhhh...... I don't think I'm quite ready for that either. Maybe, I should just take a break from love." I shrugged looking down into my lap. "Alex... "
"No, really. I need a break."
"... You're right. Just don't wait too long to get your true love back."
I was shocked, I thought they'd push it again. I liked it, they didn't care.
But, I'm not leaving Thomas. I love him, he loves me. Laurens keeps fighting with me, I don't do anything anymore. I leave it, and he starts the same thing again and again. Speaking of which.
*Ding, ding*
I looked down at my pocket, it was my phone.
I pulled it out and saw a text, so I opened my phone and saw again, that it was John.
The two at the table looked at it intently.
"So, who is it?" Laf asked.
"Uh, John... Probably picking more fights with a person that is not there."
"Alex, we've seen him. He's not doing well, he's really worried about you. He works all day, then comes home and worries. John's been overworking himself and worrying, he looks like he's gonna break soon. Just talk to him once, please. It doesn't have to be about getting him back, but if you're truly ready to move on. We understand. Just go and tell him, show him you're okay. Then you can tell him, you're with someone else. But just stop worrying about a friend so much. Even if, that's all he is to you."
I was tearing up, I didn't know what to think. I-I...
"I-I....... I don't know anymore." I fiddled with my fingers, I really didn't like to think about it and I don't know who I love.......
More.
I stifled a cry back, knowing Thomas would soon be here. I wiped away a tear and just ignored it. I knew I'd have to talk to him soon. John always worried. I knew things would happen, but I hoped it wouldn't have happened as it did.
Thomas came in rather abruptly.
Luckily we all were quiet before.
"Why so silent?" He questioned.
"Looking at the menu." Laf tried at a conversation.
"Wasn't talking to you."
"Well, anyone could have answered your question."
Herc started to push in.
"And I'd like it if you didn't talk to my fiancé like that."
Thomas was still standing up. I pulled his arm to sit him down & I patted his bicep, somehow trying to calm the fit of anger.
Result of another bad day.
"Whatcha thinking about getting, Alex?"
He grabbed my hand that was on his bicep, rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand, as in an apology.
"Sorry, for the rude first meeting, bad day at the office."
"Oh, yeah. Those, I understand." Herc laughed a second.
"Did you have another one, babe?" Laf asked his fiance while holding his hand... violently tight? It's turning red.
Oh, that face. Laf's holding him back.
"Uhm, Thomas why. Don't you look at the menu, see what you want."
I passed the menu to him & he kissed my temple. He snatched the menu and my wrist, to whisper something to me.
"You better not tell them of anything I do to you. It's your fault you did all those things to yourself, you understand?"
I nod while stifling a cry.
"Yes, Thomas."
"Good."
Thomas sat back & continued looking at the menu. He stopped over one spot and held it there with a pointed finger, with hesitation present. Then it dropped as if he'd found something else or if he'd found the one.
"So what are you getting, Laf."
I tried to rid the conversation of tension.
"I don't really know it all looks pretty good."
"Same here. The real question, what's everyone gonna drink?"
"I've been looking at this spiked tea," Thomas said rather calmly & tapped the menu page while looking at it.
I'm tired.
So, I lean on Thomas, I don't care what he does now, I'm tired.
Did he push me off of him? I flinched as I felt something come back down on me. What is it? Oh, I freaked out at him putting his arm around me.
I nestle my head onto his shoulder. He rubs my sore head with a soft hand.
The waitress came back around.
"Can I get you guys anything to drink?"
"Belleruche Rose" Frenchies & their wine.
"Mule on Fireball." Of course Herc!
"Pama southern spiked tea." Southerners & their 'tea'.
"And water for him." Yay! He knew what I wanted to drink.
"Alright, I'll go get those for you!" We all practically cringed & her sickening flirtatious tone. It was annoying going out all the time and either you or your partner get asked if you're single, want to date, or being flirted with by some random girl, when you're right next to them. It especially disgusted me, after my father had left my mom, my brother, and me.
Then I nuzzled my head back into a comfortable position. Maybe I could close my eyes for a bit. I start to fade, but I hear my phone go off and I already have a good guess who it is.
Work or Laurens?
Fuck. Thomas has my phone in his hand.
"Alexander... Alexander... Alexander."
"Huh? Sorry, what did you say?"
"Who's 'Laurens'?"
"He's..."
"The other fourth to our friend group!" Laf had interjected
"Oh. You must be pretty close, the four of you."
"Yeah, it's been a while since we've all talked. Me busy with school and work, Laurens working in the ER. Hell, you two are engaged now."
"Maybe we should get together again on better terms and start over on the introductions and invite this friend of yours. He sounds like a hard worker."
"Our sweet John, he's also a worrier."
"That's our Laurens."
Then another waitress brought our drinks to the table. She looked nice and not as whatever you want to call the first one.
"Here you go. We have the spiked tea, the red, a mule, and water?"
"Yeah, thank you."
Thomas grabbed the tea and passed me my water. I sat up and let go of his arm
"Thank you."
"Of course, Alex."
I took a sip and flinched, my side started to hurt again. I ignored it and continued to just sip at my water and listen to the conversation going on around me.
"Are you alright, petit lion?" Laf's heavy accent broke my daze
"Uhm, yeah."
A waitress came back to get our food order, it was another different girl.
"Are you ready to order?" we all had nodded
"California Baja chicken for him and Widowmaker burger for me." I could tell that they came here often since Hercules knew Laf's order already.
"Grilled chicken for me,"
"Can I..." I started to ask with my finger pointed at what I was asking for.
"He'll have the Vegetarian Cobb Salad," Thomas said for me
The waitress looking slightly confused then just wrote it down and went to put the order in. Three of us just sat silently, while Thomas started to get a call. He drew his arm back from me and picked his phone out of his pocket to check the caller ID.
"Excuse me, business call."
"Okay," I said with barely even a whisper
I don't want this anymore. I love him. but I also love him. I don't like what he does to me or for me. I love what he does to me and for me.
Thomas & Laurens
I think I should get out of Thomas's apartment so I can think. Use the time to think between the two and have my opinion be unbiased. This is all too confusing for me, I love Laurens still, but I also love Thomas.
Or do I? This is all really hard.
"Al.."
"Can you guys take me to see John?"
Saying his name again just, the way it fell off my tongue so easily and I didn't ball up in fear as I did when I heard or said 'Thomas'.
The look on their faces was like they were looking at Beyoncé, but she was wearing a MAGA hat.

Yeah, that crazy.

"What?!" I could tell Hercules's brain was running a mile a minute.

"Are you sure that you're ready for that?" Laf's comment was a little more concerned for me, which I honestly needed right now.

"I just need closure and time to think. Away from Thomas."

"That's the Alex I know!"

"You know we're always here for you. Herc & I will always keep the guest room open for you if you need a place to crash. However long you need it."

"I love both of them... but I think I love Laurens more.? I don't know, but whatever's going between him and I needs to be solved."

They nodded, telling me that they agreed with what I'd just said.

"We're all truly here for you, Alex."

"Thank you."

I took a sip from my cup trying to avoid the strange amount of ice. Afterward, I set it down and keep my hands around it.
"Actually, can you take me to see him tomorrow morning?"

Their faces were that of shock again as they both sat shaking their heads aggressively.
"Of course!"

Only a few awkward moments later our food had come out.
"Here you go!" She smiled sweetly at the couple now across from me, then she sat the salad down barely on the edge of the table.
"Did you want something else, dear?"

"Hmmm.."

"I understand this situation. It happened to me a few years ago. Plus everyone knows this isn't a very good salad anyway." Her sentence ended with a smile and a giggle. I somehow joined her in that. Laf's smiled rose like the sun after a year of darkness.
"Can I get the grilled cheese, please?"

"Of course, dear! I'll have it ready for when you leave."

"Thank you!"
I'll never forget this day. For the first time in a long time, a genuine smile showed its way onto my face.