Mr. Used Love

Chapter 4: From Dinner to a Movie

My trip to the bathroom was quick, but slower than usual because my side decided to start hurting more. Suddenly my stomach joined in the aching. I know I need to eat but don't really want too. As soon as I came out of the stall, there he was. Thomas.

That man is doing wrong, but a piece of me holds on. I mean he helped me when I most needed it. He often got frustrated, but with his heavy workload, no one would be surprised.

This time he was waiting for me and he pinned me to a wall next to the stalls. Forcing me to look at him, I close my eyes not wanting to see him at all now that this happening. I know he's going to beat me. Another part of me says he's never going to stop either.

I think I might still have a logical side even after all of this mess.

I start to hear the loud noises of my body giving in with each hit to my face, my stomach, and my previously injured side. He drops me to the floor when he's done.

Alex, he clearly doesn't care. Leave him, you can get over him. He isn't healthy, he's hurting you. Intentionally.

The one thing I can think is it only gets this bad when it comes down to

a work rejection

or

flashbacks to his ex-wife.

He wanted children and she refused or there was some kind of problem there. I don't really remember.

I was in a post-beat up phase. Everything was echoing. I finally feel how bad my head hurt.

For some reason, this was a trigger for him and some other shit that hurt him so when we got together it carried on to me. He claimed once that I looked like her and even reminded him of her. The pure thought alone is gross in my mind. Why did I remind him of his ex-wife? Was he even telling the truth then? What happened to them really?

I wait for him to scream at me or hit me more, but then he leaves.

I wait a few seconds for extra measure, mainly to assure myself that I am still alive and actually dealing with this. I know I don't need too but, part of me feels that I have to endure this pain because I deserve it.

Tonight I'm definitely going to have to explain to my 'gay dads'. Don't ask where that came from. I needed something to focus on other than my hurt right now, so I had settled with humor.

Thank you Lafayette & Hercules.

I didn't want to move quite yet so I settled with texting Laf to help me.

I looked at my other messages.

All of my messages were from Laurens.
All 25 of them, not all from today. I just gave up on ever looking at messages.

He does care about me...
I love him still.

Now, I'm going to have to explain to him too, shit.

Our conversations were all in blue
and the one message that caught my attention most was

Hey, I heard you're staying with Laf & Herc tonight. They invited me over too. I want to check up on you.