If I'm Not In Love

37

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang paggalaw ng labi niya sa labi ko. Maingat at dahan-dahan. Naramdaman ko din ang pagkalas ng isang kamay niya sa kamay ko at paglipat nito sa pisngi ko.

His warm palm made me gasped and I didn't know it will made my stomach churn for our lips molded together. He was kissing me gently, like what I've seen in movies, and how leading men kisses the girl they love. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. But one thing's for sure. It's making me weak.
At kahit na sinabi kong practice lang 'to, hindi ko makuhang magrespond dahil sa sobrang shock.

Gosh. Ganito pala ang feeling ng torrid kiss! Nakakapanigas ng katawan! Now what to do?! Nagpapalpitate na yata ako!

Then, finally he stopped. Pero Hindi siya lumayo at ramdam ko pa rin ang labi niya sa labi ko. I could even feel and smell his breath at hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko!

“Kiss me back,” he whispered against my lips then claimed it again like a pro.

And when I felt his lips moved once again, kusa nang sumunod ang mga labi ko sa ginagawa niya. And we did it until we ran out of breath while my mind's were haywired.

“Tapos na ang fireworks,” he stated as he moved away from me.

I could feel the heat on my face kaya napahawak ako bigla sa pisngi ko. I can't remember when was the last time I blushed like this. Napatingala tuloy ako nang bigla siyang tumingin sakin. “Hindi natin nakita..” nasabi ko na lang.

Silence engulfed between us hanggang sa pagbaba namin sa ferris wheel. Nauna akong naglakad habang yakap-yakap yung lion stuffed toy, habang siya naman,  nararamdaman kong tahimik na sususunod sa likod ko.

I don't know if I should regret that 'practice kiss' or not, dahil hindi ko na alam kung paano haharapin si Troy. Bakit ko pa ba kasi naisip yon?! Sa sobrang obssessed ko to have a perfect date, hindi ko na naisip na pag-isipang mabuti ang mga ginagawa ko! Now I'm confused if I should consider that kiss as my first real kiss? But its just a practice, pero kasi.. I felt something new to me. And it also felt..

“Where are you going?” tanong ni Troy na biglang humarang sa harap ko.

Nagulat ako at napalingon sa paligid. I was thinking too much na hindi ko na namalayan na palabas na kami ng amusement park.

“Sa parking?” I smiled awkwardly.

He tilted his head while his familiar grin was playing on his lips, “Its still early,” he stated then suddenly held my hand and dragged me to the game booths. “Let's get you more stuffed toys,” aniya.

Hindi na 'ko nagprotesta. I don't have the reason to protest nor energy to do it anyway. Nahigop niya yata ang buong lakas ko. Grabe. Now I know ma ganun pala kapag torrid kiss. Hindi lang nakakapagpamaga ng labi, nakakauboa din ng lakas.

I was just silent as he picked the games he wanted to play. Then I felt a light tug on my hair, “Tahimik mo. Are you still hung up with the kiss?” kaswal na tanong niya.

Napasinghap ako. I know he doesn't hold back, pero nakakagulat pa rin na parang ako lang ang apektado gayung pareho naming first ‘real’ kiss yon. Or.. he lied? But that's impossible. Troy lying to me is very impossible! Ma's posible talaga na hindi lang talaga siya naapektuhan.

I pouted.

Suddenly, parang may kumalabit sa heartstring ko.

“Lala..” tawag niya.

Instantly, I flashed him a smile, “Pagod lang,” I responded. Though I felt guilty for lying, I couldn't just tell him what I really feel now, like jeez. Paano ko sasabihing hindi ako okay kasi parang wala lang sa kanya yung kiss? Baka malaman pa niya na sobrang naapektuhan ako. No way!