When We Were 'Us'

Uncomfortably Numb- Percy POV

It only took a second for me to realize what I was doing, and I pulled away immediately.

"Rachel- I'm so sorry!"

She stepped back a pace or so, eyes wide and staring at her hands. I groaned and shoved my hair back, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Gods, Rach, I don't know what I was doing, I'm so sorry-"

"N-no- it's fine, Perc- Haley. I'm- I'm going to go now."

"Yeah no that's fine I'm sorry-"

Rachel shook her head, waving a hand. "It's fine, Percy. I don't know if I'll see you anytime soon, but uh... bye."

She darted off, running up the sand dune and disappearing into town. Freddie had offered to drive her home or something.

I sighed and covered my face with my hands. "Gods I'm so stupid...."

"Part of me wants to agree with you."

Apollo threw his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Easy, Jackson! I like my face the way it is."

"What do you want?"

Every time Apollo popped into my life it felt like I was given more work. He was finally a god again, and had quickly forgotten the lessons he was supposed to learn from being mortal.

"I keep an eye on my Oracle when she is not at Camp." Apollo shrugged, flashing that stupid mega-watt smile. "Don't want her to go missing, you know?"

I grunted, crossing my arms and staring him down. He'd get to what he wanted to say eventually.

"I'm just here to remind you, Perseus-"

"Percy."

He looked annoyed at being interrupted, but continued anyway. "-Percy, that as my Oracle, Miss Dare is off limits to you."

"Gee, thanks. I'd totally forgotten that." I rolled my eyes and turned away. "Get lost."

"Show some respect-"

"EARN IT." I whipped around to glare at him. "Earn my respect, Apollo! Even after your whole demotion, you're arrogant, insensitive, and rude. 

"You don't care about us as mortals because you outlive us in the blink of an eye and until you show that you can actually properly understand the stress and pain that we face running around after your stupid prophecies I am not going to show you any respect."

Apollo's eyes were wide and he actually looked a bit scared. I shoved past him, shouldering him aside, and marched off towards the water.

The waves rose up to meet me and I walked out about a hundred yards before stopping, bringing a column of water up in front of me.

It slowly formed into a person and I promptly punched it in the face. Spinning around, I met the next humanoid that rose and kicked it.

Some of them looked like gods, some of them didn't have faces. One or two looked like me. Regardless of the faces, they all shared the same fate.

"-ley. Haley. Percy. JACKSON."

"Leave me alone, Frank."

He popped out of the water in front of me, grabbing my wrist. There were huge wings stretching out of his back, beating lazily to keep him upright. "Talk it out. Then if you still need to hit something, I'll take you to the kickboxing gym downtown."

I growled and ripped my hand away. "I don't particularly want to talk about it, Zhang. Back off."

He frowned. "Fine. But if you change your mind I'll make time for you. Just let me know."

I took a half-step back as he stretched his wings out, bursting upwards.

Once he had disappeared, I closed my eyes and dropped like a stone. It felt like riding a roller coaster, which was nice because it meant I could feel something.

I settled on the ocean floor, opening my eyes and staring upward.

"Why does it feel like I only know rage,

Wasting away in emotionless haze,

When I'm not angry I'm achingly numb,

My chest is all hollow, my heart a torn drum."

Oh boy, angsty poetry. I don't think that's happened since I was twelve.

A little fish swam over my head, wiggling sideways to peer down at me. I scowled at it and it skittered away.

Why the Hades did I kiss Rachel? Am I stupid? I know she can't be in a relationship, and I really shouldn't be in one so soon either.

I just ruined one of my oldest friendships in a single moment of stupidity. Rachel's probably never going to talk to me again.

What is wrong with me?

[A/N yeah so I decided to just lowkey skip over the whole Trials of Apollo series bc I haven't read them]