Her Dark Past

Chapter 16 - Over?

Sorry for not updating for almost 2 weeks. Waaah! I need to work and earn for a living, so yeah.

By the way it's my birthday today so I felt the urge to upload as a treat to you my dear readers! This is unedited, please let me know if there are any errors or what not. Also, please do me a favor and tell your friends about my story? I need more reads and votes, pretty please? *puppy eyes*

This chapter is dedicated to the cool WowImAwesome. :) Alrightee, fan, vote and comment. Here's the new chapter.. Enjoy! <^^,

CHAPTER 16

“Why are you being so selfish? Why is it that you always only think of yourself?”

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and in the end of the day you can only take so much. I may not have been in a relationship before, heck I have never been involved with anyone before, and this is why I don’t want to. I am used to living alone by myself, so to adjust myself on having Lee in my life is really hard. It takes two to tango, and right now we are having a huge misunderstanding, something that I really, really don’t like to fight over.

“I am not being selfish Lee.”

“Then tell me you’re reasons.”

“I just can’t do it, I don’t like it. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“You see, it’s always I, I, me, me. I have put up with everything that you asked me to, I have accepted every complication in your life even if you don’t want me to know all the why’s. This is just a simple request Sophia, for me, you can’t do it, and it sucks.” With that Lee stormed out of my room, banging the door close. I put my head in my hands, I am having a headache and a heartache. So this what it feels like arguing with someone important to you, someone you care for.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I decided to call Rebecca.

“Hey. Where are you?” I asked her.

“Just finished my class, heading back there in a few minutes. Something wrong?”

“I wanted someone to talk to. Can you buy beer?”

“Sure. See you in a while.” I ended the call.

I never wanted a relationship. I never expected to be caring for someone this much as I care about Lee. I hate the fact that he’s upset, because of my foolishness. But isn’t he supposed to accept who I am, what I am. My head is pounding again. I took my iPod out, my only source of comfort and I started to listen to The Scientist by The Fray.

I must have drifted off to sleep because I woke being shaken so hard by Becca. I groaned as I sat, my head pounding as hard as ever.

“What’s wrong?” Becca asked. I grabbed the bag that she’s carrying and took out a bottle of beer.

“Lee and I had a fight.” I said.

“What about?”

“My birthday.” I answered.

“Your birthday? Well come to think of it, I didn’t know when you’re birthday is.”

“I didn’t know yours as well. Besides, I don’t celebrate it. I don’t like celebrating it.” I said to her.

“Why not? A person’s birthday should be and always be the special day of one’s life. Why are you not celebrating it? And why did you guys fight over it?” She asked, taking my beer from my hand and gulping it down.

“Well. I have my own reasons. Lee wanted to know when my birthday is, he wants me to celebrate it with him. I told him I don’t want to, then he flipped. Guess he got fed up of me and my f*cked up issues.” I said, looking down at my hands. Having to voice it out filled my heart with sadness. “I never used to care for anyone except Frank and Alex. Now I care about Lee, more than I would care about anybody else. It’s scary Becca.”

She reached my hand and took it to hers, “Sophia. Relationships are hard work. Whatever kind it is: family, friends, classmates, your boss, boyfriend. You need to respect and trust one another. Do you trust him?” She asked.

“To be honest, I don’t think I trust anyone.” I confided. “With all the hurt and pain I experienced, all the hatred, fear that the world handed to me, I cannot trust anyone. I’m sorry, but, this is what I am Becca. I don’t mean to hurt you or anybody, I’m just protecting myself.”

“That’s selfish.” She said.

“He said that. I’m selfish, I only think about myself, and you guys wouldn’t understand where I’m coming from.”

“Enlighten us then.”

“I can’t.” I looked straight into Becca’s eyes, and I pulled my hand from hers. She then put her hands on my shoulders and said, “You have to open up to us Sophia, we care about you and we will understand. Just trust me, and trust Lee.”

-------------------------------------------

I waited for Lee outside his class. I don’t know why, but I hate it when we argue. I am a very stubborn and independent person, and to just throw my pride on the curb to meet him and talk to him is saying something. Yeah, I really care about him.

The door opened and I felt my heart jumped out of me. I waited for 2 minutes before I finally saw him. His eyes met mine and he stopped walking. I gave him a small smile. He then walked slowly to my direction and stopped in front of me, but his head is down.

“Lee.” I said, my hands touching his face. I cupped his cheeks and turned him to look to me. “I don’t like it when we fight.” He just nodded. Alright, I think he does not have any plan to talk to me. Just great!

“I am not taking it back,” he said, looking at me, “what I said, I am not taking it back.”

“Excuse me?” I asked him, confused.

“What is wrong with you Sophia? Why do you keep on telling yourself that you cannot love, and that you do not deserve love? Why are you so stubborn? What happened to you?” He said, his last words are spoken softly.

“I… I…” I choked on my own tears. I’m not ready to tell him, but I know I have to if I don’t to lose him. But I know that I will lose him, and even if it hurts, I have to do the right thing and make it all stop.

“I’ve been battered, molested and neglected as a child.” I saw Lee’s eyes widen, then I saw that look again. Pity. I hate it when people look at me like that. The looks of pity, anger, hatred, it makes me want to punch somebody.

“I don’t need your sympathy. Those are my reasons, and I will not discuss it with you anymore. I have to be strong, I have to be hard, I am not supposed to care about you. But I do! And now it’s over.” Then I left. Tears falling down on my face, I turned my back on him and walked as fast as I can.

It’s over.