Heartbreaker (Mileven AU)

taste of own medicine

song - Dancing On My Own by Calum Scott

  ~"So far away but still so near
The lights come up, the music dies
But you don't see me standing here
I just came to say goodbye"~

Jane couldn't face going into school for a week, her heart aching at the feeling of seeing Mike continue his life without her. She couldn't face Troy's taunting and she knew that she would not be able to see Mike without throwing herself at the ground in front of him, wanting to do nothing but beg for his forgiveness. Every moment without him was so hard, feeling like part of her heart as frosted over, like it had stopped beating with warmth since he left. Above everything else, she couldn't pretend like she didn't still love him, enough that it made her heart want to cry because he wasn't there anymore. She was terrified that he never would be there for her again. 

A knock on the door interrupted her studying, Jane's nose sniffing away the tears automatically. Her eyes were constantly sore and her nose red, her father pretending that she just had a cold but knowing that it ran deeper than that. 

"What are you doing here?" Jane mumbled in surprise. 

The red head's smile was hesitant, almost sympathetic as she scanned her friend's appearance. She was quiet for a long moment, feeling guilt build up inside her chest at the sight of Jane looking so lifeless. It suddenly occurred to her that throughout the entire game, Jane had somehow become happier than ever before, even when it was only pretend. 

"Hi."

 Jane frowned slightly but opened the door for Max to come in. She left her skateboard outside, biting her nails awkwardly as she sat down next to Jane. Neither one of them knew what to say, Jane knowing that Max wouldn't outwardly apologize voluntarily, that just wasn't who she was. They were both stubborn and Jane feared that they were going to sit clueless for an eternity if she didn't speak up. 

"Why are you here?" her voice was confused but soft, as if she was trying to show that she didn't want Max to leave her alone again. 

Max looked down, "You know, Mike hasn't been to school all week."

Jane felt her voice break. "H-He hasn't?"

"You really hurt him, you know that?" Max shook her head but then a small sigh escaped her lips. "But I was so wrapped up in feeling sorry for Mike...that I didn't think about how much it hurt you. I wasn't there for you and I know that what you did must have been really hard. I-I..should have been there for you, that is what friend's do."

"You shouldn't be apologizing" Jane mumbled, "You were right all along and I knew it. I think deep down I just didn't want to admit how I felt about him."

"I acted like a jerk" Max mumbled, "and I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Jane's eyes lit up. 

Max shot her a look. "I'm not saying it again."

Jane giggled, nudging her best friend's shoulder affectionately. Max grinned at her and let Jane rest her head on her bony shoulder, sighing in content. She felt bad that deep down she had always felt like she had to do thing by herself, like she was all alone in the world. She felt like such a freak and accepted the labels that Troy gave her, not stopping for a minute to realize that maybe after all these years, she was never truly alone. 

"Have you tried speaking to him?" Max asked gently, squeezing her tightly. 

Jane looked down sadly. "I tried...but he wants nothing to do with me. He says that he won't be able to trust me again and know that I truly love him, god - I told him I loved him Max and he didn't say anything back. He thought it was part of a game and deep down...I don't blame him for hating me. How can I?"