Well...Alright | Buddy Holly

Leaving (V.H)

July 23rd, 1959. 4:28 pm. Some random train in Liverpool

After what felt like a lifetime, we finally boarded the train back to France.

I was expecting a tearful goodbye, but I think Ania was glad to see us go. Antoni was sad and made us promise to write, but he wasn't horribly upset. Mike and Mina, however, were devastated. Mina had already started writing a letter to Buddy and I before we were out the door. I feel bad for leaving her so soon, but I can't bring myself to stay near them.

I sit next to the window and stare out it. "You know, I wouldn't be upset if I never went to England again,"

"Same here, I feel like I have too many bad memories there," Vincent shakes his head. "That was a mess!"

"Well, at least we know about them now," Juliet stares intensely out the window. "Better than not knowing, I suppose."

《《《》》》

Buddy and I make it to our hotel room in Paris and I sigh and collapse on the bed.

Buddy sits next to me. "What's wrong? Somethin' else is wrong, not just this family mess."

I shake my head. "There's a couple of things,"

"Shoot em at me,"

"Well, one is that I thought a lot about what you said the other day and you're right, I am sort of immature. I need to grow up a little and tell you things. I need to let you in more. I just need to open up and realize that you need to know how I feel. We're married, we're a team, and you should know what's going on inside my head."

"Okay,"

"And I feel like I depend on you too much. I don't really know how to cope with my emotions without you and I don't think that's okay. You just helped me so much through such a dark time that I sort of grew to rely on you for stability,"

"Okay,"

"And that's it."

Buddy lays down and looks at me. "Well?"

"What do you think about that?"

"I think you're right, baby. I think you're right. I love you, but sometimes it's hard t'talk t'you 'bout things 'cause you don't fully respond t'me, sometimes you don't really give an answer,"

I nod. "Yeah, exactly, and I want to work on that. I feel sort of bad for doing this to you, I know it's wrong,"

"I appriciate that,"

"It isn't healthy to rely on you for my emotions. If something happened to you, I wouldn't know how to cope with what happened and everything else."

"Okay,"

"And I really, really need to learn how to communicate with you better. I don't know why I still can't, we've been together since we were 16,"

"You've had phases where you're real good at it, then bad,"

"Exactly. Babe, I'm sorry. I want to be a better wife and I want to be a better person. This whole thing opened my eyes and that talk we had really made me think. I need to grow up and work through my past issues and take on the new ones."

He wraps an arm around me. "You even sayin' all this and thinkin' 'bout it is a real good thing, really mature, I guess you'd say,"

"I've never meant to depend on you so much, if you ever think I should back off, just say so,"

"Doll, I love you. I don't really think you depended on me too much, but I think maybe you're right. But I'm glad you feel like you can talk t'me 'bout your emotions, even if sometimes it's seems like it's too much,"