I don't go to bed until around 1-2 am. I'm awake during the day, even though I get 6-5 hours of sleep a day. Sometimes only 4 hours. I don't understand why I can't sleep, it hurts to be awake with my thoughts. Just sitting in my bed, reading them out of nowhere my thoughts attack me.
'Just kill yourself already, it'll do everyone a favor'
'Cut yourself, it'll make you feel better'
'Your friends only pity you, since day one they have'
'Your so pathetic, I can't even believe it'
'Why do you still live when living is pointless when you're just going to die in the end?'
'Find all of the pills you can and take them all'
'You're just causing problems, go away from everyone you know' 'You. Don't. MATTER! GO FIND A ROPE AND TIE A NOOSE! HANG YOURSELF YOU PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE OF A HUMAN!'
'WHY DOES ANYONE LOVE YOU?!'
'YOU'RE GOING TO SUFFER UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE!'
'YOU AREN'T ANY HELP TO ANYONE!'
It really just hurts, it all hurts when my thought get to me. I'm fighting though, it hurts, but I'm fighting. I'm still alive, aren't I? My life isn't one to be worrying about, there are other people who would need more attention to their life than me. I can live with myself and not kill myself as soon as I'm alone. I'm suffering everyday, it doesn't feel nice. Although, suffering is worth someday seeing my friend, their the only reason I'm still on this earth.
YOU ARE READING
The times I stayed up til 1:00 am
Non-FictionMy life did go to shit. Triggers: My life depression has mentions of suicidal thought, cutting, and other things related to death. It's also cringe 2018 teen stuff. If you don't like these topics, don't read this book of my experience with depressio...
