The times I stayed up til 1:00 am

Where?

I'll be rambling.

Will I ever feel loved? I'm always told it that I am loved and that people love me. I don't feel loved at home, I just feel like a disappointment. Like I'm unsatisfied with how my family shows their love for me. I hate hugs, they give them anyways. I hate being squished in my face cheeks, my mom does it anyways. I hate how they show their affection for me. It bothers me to a level some of you wouldn't understand.

I hate being touched. I hate trying to sleep next to someone else. I have troubles with socializing, if I'm around people for too long I feel tired out, empty, and stressed the fuck out. The love must family gives isn't the kind I want to be given. The word 'love' has lost its meaning they say it so much to me. The word is just like blank space.

A voided blank space with a word that doesn't mean anything. Why do they say it so, fucking, often. It's getting annoying to the point where I wanna cut the word out of my dictionary, 'love' doesn't mean anything. The 'I love yous' I get getting annoying. So much so I wanna curse out anyone who says it to me. The next person in my life who says 'I love you' or anything to do with 'love' is going to get a talking to about why i hate it so much.

Love is a hate word for me, good job family.