Some try to snap me out of my sadness, it works for only a moment. They try for longer, I stare into space. They ask '◼, you okay?' I answer, "I'm fine, I'm just tired." I hallucinate sometimes, mainly during morning. I feel like I got ready for the day, when really I was just on my bed imagining. I feel dead inside, when I'm tired. When there's nothing to live for in a moment. Just silence is everything I would want during English class. The same songs repeat for days on end, never changing. It's all piano, I used to like piano music. I wanted to learn to play it, I never will anymore. The songs are like the start of a panic attack for me. It felt like I was in the day before, not knowing what was past or present. I get visions in my dreams of what would happen in the future. I get deja vu almost everyday, I don't know if I'm living in the past or present. I had a panic attack yesterday, not nice. Phobias aren't nice. Not only with my fear of needles, but I also have a small fear of loud noises. Specifically when it's loud items that could harm me. For example, saw blades. Which were being used that day. My life is jumbled, am I in the past?
Why me? Why do I suffer this pain of past or present?
YOU ARE READING
The times I stayed up til 1:00 am
Non-FictionMy life did go to shit. Triggers: My life depression has mentions of suicidal thought, cutting, and other things related to death. It's also cringe 2018 teen stuff. If you don't like these topics, don't read this book of my experience with depressio...
