Autumn Boy

Keine Angst, es ist nur dieser Anfang/Dialog, der auf Englisch verfasst worden ist.
Falls Fragen zu bestimmten Vokabeln oder ganzen Sätzen auftauchen, schreibt einfach einen Kommentar und er wird mit Sicherheit beantwortet werden. :)
Und nun wünsche ich viel Spaß beim Lesen :3

»«»«» K L A P P T E X T «»«»«

If you are completely lost.
If you are gone.
Would you let someone help you to get back to life?
Even if it means to destroy his life?
Or would you give up, but thank God for his angel he has sent to save you?

Or don't you believe in God?
But if you don't...
What makes you so sure
He would believe in you then?

»«»«» P R O L O G «»«»«

»«»«»«

»Why are you asking me all this shit? Why do even care?«

»Because I do.«

»Well, stop then.«

»Why?«

»Because I am not used to it. Okay? My whole life I was the one asking people if they are doing okay. It was me asking them if there are any problems I can help them with. It was only me asking. And when I had this heart issues recently, which only were result of me growing up, I told my friend because she was claiming about exactly the same pain. And I wanted to comfort her and tell her I had it too, I wanted someone who was feeling the same.
And weeks after I did ask her if she was doing fine. Because I felt my heart hurting again and I just asked if at least she is okay. But this isn't the point.
The point is, that I expected her to ask me the same. To ask me if I am feeling better too.
But she didn't. And this is why I am not used to people caring all over me. I got along with the feeling that no one really cares about my feelings at all, and I am only living for the others to ask them permanently if they are doing okay.
So please stop caring. Please stop asking. Because behind all this questions you will only find someone who is as fragile as all the other human beings on earth. But also as hidden as a vampire you can see the broken behind all of me.
And to all your good: I don't want you to find out.
I don't want you to see this broken part of me.«

»Why? I could hel-«

»Because people don't want to help. They are born to destroy. And in the second they see me as a broken, weak personality they will take advantage of that fact and they will hurt me. And I don't want to get hurt.
I learnt people always and only care about themselves without any exception.«

»You are afraid. But I wouldn't hurt you. Ever.«

»I stopped believing lies. I stopped putting to much weight on the words someone says.
You are right. I am afraid as hell that you will hurt me. But I am much more afraid of letting you in my life. Letting you take care of me, letting you asking me if I am doing fine and you worrying about me.
So please. Please. Let me go. Stop caring and stop trying. Just stop...«

»No.«

»I have probably a mental disorder. Just go.«

»I can't.«

»Yes, you can. Step by step. I am the best evidence of what society can make out of someone.
I'm lost and no one can safe me anymore, because this someone shoud have come a long, long time ago.«