My Crown Of Shame

...

I was doing dishes and suddenly the knife that was under water before was grasped tightly between my fingers. It kinda felt natural, I wanted to do nothing but dash quickly into the livingroom and slash the blade across my father's neck.

I restrained myself while looking at my wrist. My mind began to swirl and my body swayed. I dropped the knife at my feet, grabbing ahold of the counter. I steadied myself and straightened my thoughts. I shook my head and grabbed the knife resisting my bloodthirsty urges.

The only thing I could do was drown out my thoughts with the soft melodies that played through my earbuds. Blood flashes in my mind with a sick grin dancing on my lips.

I finished the dishes in record time and ran to my room securing my thoughts into a confined room.

Dont ever leave me alone with my thoughts, it's a bad idea.

All I need is a heartbeat and a breath and I'm through.