My Crown Of Shame

I Hate You, a lot

Hehe you know what? Did you know that our relationship is built off hate?
Hehe you dont even know. You dont know how bad I wanna choke you underwater. To stab a mere dagger through your throat.

You've done nothing but cause me pure pain. You are my source of my deepening Depression. You are the one that makes me wanna draw blood from my own veins. To Jump from a tall building to only come crashing down onto the cold concrete.

I wish you knew my pain. I say that I wanna kill myself and all you say is "No you dont. You couldn't."

Oh but how wrong you are. I could so easily. If you push me over the edge, im done.

Look at you sitting so high on your thrown. Looking down on me and everyone you thought could pass you. Of course your the favorite. Your the soul source of the family's happiness. You make them laugh, you make them smile, bring out the best of them. But I hate you. It takes every little drop of patience and effort I have left to not strangle you. I fucming hate you. She loves you. She compares me to you. Saying "Why dont you be more like him? He's a straight A student while your failing. Your supposed to be the role model but yet here you have a 13 year old setting your examples." I cant help it. I'm a fucking mistake and wasn't meant to be born. I wish I wasn't born. I've spent the last 24 minutes crying, my own reasons crashing down. And, I feel better but worse.
I hope you burn.

- Dedicated to the brother I wish would die