From the diary of Griselda Vargas-Beilschmidt

17

Bathing day!

Today when we were on a walk with the dogs, Aster rolled in some shit...literally. Then Blackie decided to join. Berlitz, thankfully, didn't. He's a veteran police dog, so he doesen't do stuff like that if he's not told to. Mitzi was outside for once, since it was a nice day, but she, too, refrained from the rolling. That was until Aster decided to rub the shit all over her. Vati facepalmed and sighed, Papa looked lost and I just laughed. I imagine if they could talk, they'd say something along the lines of:

Aster: "Wooo! Look at this! This is the shit! Let's roll in it! Shit makes perfect perfumes! Yay!"

Blackie: "NO WAY! Let me see! Ah, yes, it is a shit. Let's roll!"

Mitzi: "....dogs...."

Berlitz: "Hey! That's racist!"

Mitzi: "...Ok, most dogs."

Aster: "Hey, Mitzi, I simply have to rub this sweet perfume in your fur! It smells gorgeous!"

Mitzi: "NO! GET AWAY! NOOOOOOOOOO!" *hisses*

Berlitz: "Don't you even think about it, Blackie."

Blackie: *moves away from him* "Aw."

So, Vati's currently preparing a bath, because dogs might think it smells nice, but to us people (nations, whatevs) it definitely does not.

Vati opens the bathroom door.

"Alright, take them in."

I try to carefully navigate the smelly animals to the bathroom, but they understand and run inside. Well, except for Mitzi. Mitzi is smarter (she even learned to open doors with her paw and close them behind her - that's why we jokingly call her Houdi-cat. Sometimes we find her in places we could swear we closed the door to, like the wardrobe. We'll just go away for a few hours with her sitting on the couch and come back to her happily purring on Vati's freshly cleaned shirts. She likes Vati. That's why Papa doesen't like her as much as other cats. Mitzi likes attention and though she's my cat, she just ignores me sometimes and lays down on Vati's paperwork instead. And no matter how many times he kicks her out, she always comes back.)

"Shouldn't we wash Mitzi later? It's kind of..stuffed in there," I point out.

"Ja, we'll do that. Now, Feliciano, could you come inside and help me, please?"

"Sure, Luddy!" He hopps in the room and Vati blushes.

He blushes a lot, whether it's this pet name or other, or a kiss or a remark in public. I can still recall a time when Papa and Uncle Romano got drunk and began arguing about some stuff I didn't and don't understand even now. When I ask Gabe about it, for he was there too and didn't understand and now he apparently does, he just says "Grissy, believe me, you don't want to know." It involved some "skills"...? Anyway, upon hearing it, Uncle Spain laughed so hard he fell off his chair and Vati went red, degree 10.

I made a scale of blushing - from 0 to 10, 1 being only slightly and 10 being all face red and you can almost feel the heat from that person.

"Aren't our darlings just the best darn things?" Uncle Spain asked with a fourth degree blush, and Vati answered with a blush of at least 7.

"Ja. Ja, they are."

They looked at them fighting, threatening to throw a chair in the other's face. Vati looked back at mini-me.

"I hope you won't be your Papa type of drunk."

"And what is your type of drunk, Germa-aaannyyy?" asked Uncle Spain, having a few drinks himself.

Vati coughed and looked away. The truth is, I don't think I've ever seen Vati that drunk. Welp, they say that you never see some things coming. I'm a bit scared now, because you know what else they didn't see coming? The Crystal night.

And then mini-Gabriel threw up on the sofa so the party ended.

But seriously, it'd be interesting social experiment to make - types of drunks. All I got is:

Papa - affectionate drunk

Uncle Romano - angry drunk

Uncle Spain - violent drunk

Uncle Prussia - loud drunk

Mr France - naked drunk

Mr England - passed out drunk

George - "I'm not druuuuuunk, guyyyyys, I'm nooooot!" *hiccups* *throws up* drunk

"Feliciano? Could you pass me the dog shampoo?" Could be heard, along with running water and the dogs barking because TREASON!

I opened up the chat and asked "What type of drunk are your parents?"

The Ash ninja: The singing drunk...sigh

Fred the Great: XD Yeah I've recorded that..my dad doesen't really drink all that much, but the one time he did, he was on the "bitch fight me" side

Frog jr.: The stripping and passed out drunks

Potato gnocchi: What's stripping?

Churro child: @Frog jr. ILL HUNT YOU DOWN FUCKER!

Fred the Great: IM JOINING HIM

Frog jr.: M E R D E

The Ash ninja: Honey, you done fucked up

Fred the Great: gettin my hunting knives

Churro child: gettin my mama's axe

The Ash ninja: RUN BOY RUN

The Ash ninja: VERY FAST AND VERY FAR

Ice queen (Ingrid Bondevik): What's going on! ....oh

Ice queen: The loud cheery drunk and the one who doesen't drink

Ikeaismyshit: The babbling one and the one that can actually hold his liquor

The Ash ninja: f you

Ikeaismyshit: Same goes to you, my dear friend :)

Meanwhile, dads got the dogs all clean, but before they could even plug the hairdryer in, Aster decided she'd had enough and somehow opened the door with her sheer force and ran into the hallway.

"ASTER NEIN! GRISELDA DON'T LET HER-!"

Too late. She was already shaking, getting water everywhere. Eh, at least she was clean and it was just water and not water with shit.

Now we had to wash Mitzi.

Shit. 

_____________________

Cliffhanger! 

XD Not really tho, but I always wanted to say it.

I never thought I'd write animal dialogue..*shrugs* as I said, it's basically writing itself, I just choose a theme and it escalates on its own from there.

Will they successfully wash Mitzi or will the Houdi-cat trick them? We shall see! 

Thank you for reading, commenting, voting...Really, it's driving me forward :) 

(Also now I'll have a lot of tests in school, but I'll upload as much as I can.)

See ya!