It's Up To You

Chapter 22

I drove my car down to my old neighborhood. It was the newest and shiniest car on the block once I parked it. Taking the key out of the ignition, I got out the car and stood in front of the apartment building.

It somehow managed to look older than what I remembered. That building seemed to be a distance memory from another life at this point. I got out my key and opened the front door, I still had it from when I used to live there.

When my parents died no one bothered of confiscating it from me. Walking in, the inside was almost the same as I remembered it. The peeling dark green wallpaper, the wooden steps with too many coats of thick black paint, the linoleum floors. That leak next to the staircase in the ceiling still dripped throughout the day.

Walking up the steps, I made my way down the hall. Once I got to my old apartment door, I touched the brass numbers nailed into the center of it. Then, I stepped to the next apartment and knocked on the door.

"Coming!" Someone shouted from inside. Opening the door was a plump lady. Her sun dress was old and tattered, the relaxer in her hair caused the curls to be stiff and feet stuffed into shoes too small.

"Mrs. Goode." I smiled at her.

"My gosh! Lauren!" She smiled and wrapped me in a tight hug. "I would've never imagined to see you here, I have seen you in years!"

She felt my arms and then gave one a slap. "What are they feeding you? Are they feeding you at all? You're so skinny!" She shouted out with a smile. "Come on, come inside, I'm sure Pam will be so happy to see you!"

Stepping inside, Pam slowly emerged from her nearby bedroom. She walked into the small living room of the apartment. I looked to the side at the couch that had holes in it, showing the yellow stuffing inside. Then I looked to their pressed wood table that was peeling and had scratches.

"Ever since you moved up there we haven't seen you at all." Pam stepped toward me. She was a reflection of my old self, my life before the Nelsons. Her clothes weren't as proper as mine, her hair didn't have all of the fancy products and her face was bare and without makeup.

Once she stood in front of me, I took her hand. It was hard from all the work she'd been doing. I frowned looking down at it, then I put on a smile for her.

In her room, we caught up. I was so desperate to have a connection to my past, I began confiding in her. Linda was my best friend growing up, so I knew I could trust her.

"Ricky Nelson and Elvis Presley?" She asked with risen eyebrows. "Who's next, Sam Cooke?"

We laughed together as we both sat on her bed looking through magazines. It felt great to be with Pamela again, it reminded me of all the times we had together.

"What made you choose to come back down here?" Pam asked me.

"I guess I was homesick." I shrugged as I turned a page.

"Homesick after 5 years..." She mumbled. "Lauren, everyone wondered where you went. If you forget about us."

"I could never forget my home. I was just caught up in my new life..." I defended myself.

"Sure, the rich, white life." Pamela placed her magazine beside her. "We weren't good enough for you anymore."

"You know that's not true." I cried out. "I could barely even get out!"

"We'd see you going around with that Irish looking girl on the other side of town." Pamela crossed her arms. "You started going to the good high school and the good record stores."

"Don't break my heart, Pam." I sighed. "You know I wouldn't forget any of you. You all were in my mind."

"Well then from now on, let's make sure to keep in touch." Pam smiled as she held my hand. It was good to be around my own people once again, not an outcast, but belonging with them.

I felt fulfilled once arriving back home, it was late as ever. The family I'm sure was once again asleep. Walking upstairs, I stopped in front of my room door. I couldn't help but looking to the room across, there sat Ricky reading a magazine.

I walked inside and looked around. "There's not much to see, it's pretty much like how I left it." Ricky told me, then flipped the page of his magazine.

I walked over and grabbed it out of his hand. Swiping through, I saw all of the nude women he was looking at. He looked up at me calmly, not caring what I saw.

"I'm a man now, I don't need to answer to anyone." Ricky told me

"Then why don't you move out?" I squinted at him.

"The same reason you're stuck here. I'm not married." Ricky crossed his arms. I adjusted the collar on his shirt, he didn't even react.

"I used to want you so much, Lauren." He squinted at me. "All I thought about was you."

"And what changed?" I asked quietly, sadness taking over.

"I met Lorrie and she reciprocated what I was giving her." Ricky leaned toward me. "That was a feeling that couldn't be beat."

There was a silence.

"Have you heard from Elvis?" Ricky asked with risen brows.

"He should get getting to me any minute now. He's probably getting settled in his house." I played with the hem of my dress.

"Shouldn't you go down there and see him?" Ricky asked me, I huffed at him.

"With what money? Ozzie and Harriet don't even like him writing me to begin with." I adjusted the fabric to my dress.

"If I cared about a girl, I'd call her right away." Ricky told me in a low voice. I glared at him. "But that's just me."

He picked up his magazine and continued on looking at the photos. I stood up off the bed, frustrated by his words. "I hope you enjoy that. Cold photos of girls who never will be yours!"

"I'm Ricky Nelson, I've met some of these girls and trust me, they're willing." Ricky laughed.