He texted me a few hours ago.
He has been bugging me for two weeks.
First he sent a follow request on instagram.
Then he like a comment I made on a post.
Then he DMed me on instagram saying that he has sent me a text on Facebook over a week ago and is still waiting for a response, that he needed to talk to me and if I didn't respond he's going to call me.
What the hell was that ?
I'm not mad.
But for real mate just wtf ?
He said "You have the right not to reply to me on any platform.
I've sent you a text on Facebook over a week ago but it wasn't even delivered to you. I just need you to answer me so we can talk.
I know I did you wrong, I know my mistakes and I came to apologize but you're not allowing me. I liked your comment on Facebook, I sent you a follow request twice still no answer. I'll just have to call you if you don't answer this message."
I was shocked to my core. I thought he just did these things to show me that he regrets throwing me out like that but I had no idea he wanted to talk and I didn't know he sent me a message on Facebook because he deleted me it was within the requests but still that didn't change my mind.
"What do you wanna talk about ? There's absolutely nothing to say." I replied half an hour later because I didn't have my phone with me.
"I just wanted to talk to you. I know there's nothing to talk about." He responded.
I didn't open it or reply I really didn't know what to say. If you know there isn't much to say what are you doing talking to me ?
I truly don't have any hard feelings, I feel absolutely nothing. Talking to him made me realize that I am 95% over him and absolutely NOT mad at him. I truly just don't care.
A few minutes passed and he continued, "you have every right to be hurt by the fact that I unfollowed and unfriended you from every platform, I don't know if you are for sure though but I think that's the reason you won't accept my follow request or reply to me on Facebook. I just want to talk to you, see how you're doing."
I hesitated saying anything without taking someone's opinion but I knew what I was supposed to do so I did it.
"I'm fine."
"What are you doing at the moment. Adam told me about your exam."
Adam was a mutual friend I talked to him a few times after Mason and I broke up but not much.
"Studying for the next one."
I was being as dry as I could and he knew that.
"Did you find a job ?"
"No"
I kept disappearing for a few minutes then replying and disappearing again.
"That's good, so you have more time to study."
"Yeah."
"Good luck then. Take care."
"Thank you."
Was all we said but I mean what did he expect ?
Fad forward to an hour later Adam texts me, I knew were his talk was going and I welcomed it.
He kept saying how hurt Mason was, how he had a lot to say, how we didn't end things the right way and he regrets it.
For once I didn't care what the outcome of my words could be and said all I had been keeping in.
"Me talking to him again won't do either of us any good or bad really it simply won't change anything. Mason was the first guy I ever talked to and trusted, he put me through things that not allowing me to trust anyone, I can't feel anything, I cannot see my future with someone or me having feelings for anyone. When I broke up with him in October it was the right decision we shouldn't have gotten back together in December.
No matter what happens between us he was someone I talked to everyday for two years I will, I will never hate him.
He knows how I feel about exes hating each other after a break up and cutting each other off and the first thing he did was cutting me off.
I understand that it is hard seeing pictures of someone you used to love but what he did was not a solution. He was the one to cut me off he has no right to talk to me and expect me to talk to him.
I feel absolutely nothing towards him. I don't hate him, I'm not even mad at him. We're done nothing goes back to what it was.
He was the one that said this to me."
Then he continue to tell me how he knows he has no right to come between us but just wanted to help his friend.
"I know what it is like to feel your relationship change, I am going through that right now. I know things would never be the same especially trust." He said to me after 10 minutes of debate.
"It's not that I don't trust Mason. He's still the first one that comes to my mind when something happens and I want to tell someone but I'm tired. A lot. He tired me. I couldn't do it anymore."
"I know. I know how hard Mason can be. I know that he can be selfish sometimes and he has a few bad habits but his not a bad person."
"I have nothing to say to him and I'm not saying he's a bad person." I cut him off.
"That's why I'm telling you to talk to him. You have nothing to say to him but has plenty to say. He doesn't deserve the hurt he's in" he proceeded to defend him.
For once I stood up for myself and didn't allow guilt to take over, I put myself first and let me tell you, it felt good.
"And I don't deserve the state I'm in, I can't trust anyone and all of a sudden I have no one to trust or believe."
"And that's because of him ?" He asked.
"Yes!"
"Can he fix it ?"
"No."
I truly don't believe I can be fixed this time, it's all a mess I don't think anyone can help.
"I still believe that you two should talk and clear things out he has a lot to say and really deserves saying them."
Adam kept saying that Mason needed to say things. If he truly had a lot to say he would have, my attitude wouldn't have stopped him. It never did.
"I don't think it's a good idea." I responded standing my ground. I wanted to say more but I was ready to just stop talking about this subject now.
"Just think about it okay ?
I hope you chose the thing that's going to do you both right."
"No! I'm going to do what I see is right for me!
If I change my mind it's changed if I don't I will not talk to him. I will not do something that'll make me uncomfortable." For the second time, for my surprise, I said what I wanted to say, I didn't just agree because I was shy, I didn't care for what the other person said. I said what I believed.
"Of course, Imm not telling you to do something you're not comfortable with. Just think about it. If you think about it enough you'll see that you aren't doing yourself wrong with talking to him he finished.
It's not about doing myself wrong, I don't think it's the right thing to do. No I know it's not the thing the right to do and I don't want to do it so I will not. End of story.
Is what I wanted to say but I was done with this subject and this conversation so I just ignored him.
"Sure." Was all I said.
"Okay."
It's been more than two hours and my mind is still the same. I just don't want to talk to him.
I have nothing to say and if he did have anything to say he had the chance and he blew it.
