My Fiance is a Ghost

Chapter 14

       His face was red and his eyes flamed with anger. I stepped past him and laid my purse on the counter, "I am not going to tell you until you calm down," I stood there with my arms crossed trying to match his glare. Obviously that was the wrong route, "You think you are being cute?" he spewed, "I waited all damn night for you and when I heard Miranda talking to your mom about this date you went on and it was rolling around to 3 am, I figured you wouldn't be coming in."  I tried to speak but he just held up his hand, "Don't even make excuses. You screwed him, didn't you?" his eyes registered hurt and it tugged at my heart. "I can see the hickeys" he whined motioning towards my exposed neck.. I looked away, "Colin-please" I said lost for words. If I lied it would hurt him and if I told the truth it would hurt him. "I have just been so lonely" I quietly replied. There was a long pause and he slowly said as if to steady out his voice, "Then..why..the...fuck...am I still around...stuck here... Apparantly I am doing nothing for you if I am always here but you are still lonely."

     I tried reaching for him but he jerked away and backed up, "I don't want your excuses, Annika. I just can't believe you sunk this low" his voice rang with disgust. I scowled, "You wouldn't even touch me Colin! I waited for so long and everytime we even got close you pulled away."  He snapped back at me, "So sexx..that is what this is about? You need me for the comfort and support part and fuc*** whoever this guy is for a good bang!?"   I lost it and began yelling, "I like WILL, he is not for a bang but yes if you would like to know we DID bang OKAY but you know what he likes me back and wants to get to know me and we can go out in public and do things BUT I CANNOT WITH YOU. I don't want to be alone forever. You are here yes but it is just EFFIN you and me all the time, until the end of time. I can't go on double dates with you or go dancing or GET MARRIED" and my voice began to break until I was sobbing, "I love you Colin and I am sorry I am hurting you but but it isn't a way for me to spend the rest of my life." 

       Nothing was said for awhile and I stood there trying to stop my crying while he was standing with his back towards me. When he finally turned around his eyes were red from crying and he said one thing and my heart felt crushed all over again, "Then let me go Annika, just let me go...please" he begged. "I had no plans on dying and I am so happy I got to spend more time with you but at this point, I just want to cross over" he said walked out of the apartment and I was left with silence. 

       The days that followed I was so lost and disconnected. I ignored Will's text and called off work saying I was sick. It was the first time I had ever called off but those kids needed a teacher who was alert and responsive. I was scared of these emotions because I hadn't felt like this since I first lost Colin. If I would let him go, I would lose him twice but keeping him hear wasn't fair. I went to bed last night and told whoever was listening that Colin could go but when I woke up in the morning, he was perched on the kitchen stool just looking out the window. We had barely spoke at all and the silence was killing me. My sister had tried talking to me but I just didn't want to talk about anyone. She asked if it was about Will but I just shook my hand and avoided eye contact with Colin. 

       I hopped on the computer and researched "How to get a ghost pass over to the other side" and I found forums with stupid answers such as "Tell him/her the other side has cookies" but one answer said, "I don't personally know but if you find a real medium maybe they have answers?"    A medium! Colin had told me he talked to a psychic but if she could see him then she must be a medium too, maybe she would know! I slipped on my shoes and ran down to my car. If she had the answer though, would I actually listen to it? Was I really ready to let go though? Having him around had been a constant for me and what if Will and I didn't even work out, I wouldn't ever have a chance to make it up to Colin. 

    I googled the address and when I pulled up, I was feeling sick and my hands were shaking. "Madame Trixie" the sign read outside this quaint little house. I made my way up the few steps she had and knocked twice. I was attempting to calm myself down but I was startled when the front door swung open. A plump short woman stood before me. She was dressed in floral and had a straw hat on, she seemed somewhat familiar. "Hello" he squak voice piped at me, "Can I help you?"  I told her I needed her advice as a medium and she motioned me in. She led me to a small office that was filled with flowers. I took a seat and she sat opposite of me. She latched her fingers together and lowered her gaze. She looked me up and down. She then tilted her head, "Hmm you seem familiar" she said. I was taken aback, had we met before?