My Fiance is a Ghost

Chapter 5

        Eventually, I did stop crying. Periodically they would start up again but it came to a point of physical exhaustion and I just couldn't anymore. I had sat holding Colin in my arms for a good 15 minutes, my sister and mom trying to comfort me. The parademics came and already confirmed what we knew. As they lifted him away, my heart broke even more because I knew I needed to call his parents and break the news. When Mrs. Grayheart answered the phone her voice was so pleasant, "Hello Dear!" she chirped into the phone.  I had to steady my voice and I told her that her only son had passed away. She wailed into that phone, more unconsolable than myself. I couldn't hold a candle to their pain though.

     I stood by their side during his funeral, his mother weeping into her husband's shoulder. His face was sober and grim. He was only two weeks away from graduating after four years of college, it was a cruel joke this whole thing. I gave a eulogy and I remember it being something like me telling everyone he was not only an amazing boyfriend but a friend to everyone he met. I could only make it three sentences in before I broke down. It was the coffin. That coffin held my boyfriend. He was alive three days ago, walking and laughing and now he was about to be lowered into the ground. He lifeless body was lying in that stupid coffin, that was 5 feet from me. It really shook me up. Death always did.  A lot of people lose someone dear to them but we all have a belief, "It won't happen to us" but the truth showed itself, it really does. 

      A few weeks after the funeral, we were asked to attend the court hearing for James Mackinson the bastard who killed Colin. We sat in a row with two other families who had both lost their daughters. My mother and sister & his parents. James pleaded not guilty, although his motive was his girlfriend had dumped him and he was targeting females with similar features. Had the security officers not responded as quickly as they did, more people could've potential died. When James declared himself Not Guilty, he looked right at me. I swear it was just directly as me. Almost as if you say, "It was supposed to be you". My blood boiled and my sister's hand was placed over mine to calm me. Not that it was a satisfying justice to any of us but he was sentenced to LIFE with possible parole after 50 years.

     I had finished school the best I could, to be honest I just didn't care. I was sad and angry, it should've been me. I should've been dead not Colin. I visted Colin's parents once after the funeral, to drop off to them a few things that belonged to him that he left at my place. One of those items was his VHS Toy Story movie and his mom teared up when I handed it to her. Toy Story was his favorite movie as a kid. From what I hear, he owned countless Woody dolls and spent 3 halloweens in a row dressed up as his favorite character and then 2 years as Buzz Lightyear. The first date Colin and I ever had was at his house watching Toy Story because he was shocked when I told him I had not seen it. He had ordered some chinese food and bought these little japenese drinks that tasted like watered down pop and we sat on the couch. His one arm was draped around my shoulders and he had a faint smell of cologne. I remember watching how his facial expressions change and feeling giddy inside. I wanted to keep the movie but I knew this was theirs to keep.

      My most treasured possesion of a memory is the glass rose laying on my bedstand that we had gotten me our second Valentine's Day together. I would lay down at night and just stare at it, it was a simple sight of comfort. At first my mom and sister would constantly call me to check up on me and they would stop over all the time. I tried to be happy but it hurt to smile. It almost felt wrong to smile. They weren't fools and over time the calls & visits became fewer and I couldn't blame them, I was just shutting everyone off. I was going through a rollercoaster of emotions from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. And for a year this is how my life went. It was boring and pointless, I felt empty.