The Return To Fleets Street

Broken

The way home from the Market Mrs Lovett kept her head down as she walked beside a concerned Sweeney. She just wanted to get back safely and collapse into tears letting it all out, even now the tears were still threatening to fall. She felt so disgusted, so worthless that she wondered if this life was really meant for her now. She thought of herself as cheap, a low life that has no meaning to grace the earth. She just wanted the ground to swallow her up...

Sweeney could see the weight of sadness looming over the baker and so badly wanted to pull her into his arms and take her away from all her troubles. Mae was clutching her mother's hand tightly not knowing what was wrong but she thought if she gave it a gentle squeeze it might make her feel better knowing she was there.

Reaching the front door to Sweeney's flat Nellie lifted her head watching him unlock the front door to let them in.

"Mae would you mind going to your room...." Sweeney asked her sweetly whilst bending down to kiss her cheek. She nodded in response before running into her bedroom that she shared with her mother and closed the door. She wouldn't ask any questions, she may only be young but she knew her daddy wanted to deal with her Mummy alone. She assumed it was adult stuff that she wouldn't understand.

The tears then began to fall and Mrs Lovett found herself sliding down the door frame until she was hugging her knees to her chest. "Nellie!" Sweeney was fast to kneel on the floor in front of her, his eyes wide in horror and worry. Placing his hands on her shoulders that shook for the tears pouring out of her he gulped nervously.

"I-I don't w-want...to...be ere...a-anymore..." she cried painfully her breathing shaky, she couldn't even get her words out properly. She was broken.

Sweeney felt his heart pierce, like someone had stuck a pin through him. It hurt him to see her like this, just what had happened....

"Nellie...please talk to me" he begged lifting her to her feet and cradling her in his arms arms she cried against his chest. "I-I ave no...purpose anymore...I-I don't want to be ere anymore" she cried violently gripping onto Sweeneys coat as if she might go plummeting to the floor if she didn't hold on. She felt sick, sick of herself, sick of this life and most of all sick of men.

Wrapping his arms around her tighter Sweeney just held her whispering soft words of encouragement in her ear as she let it all out. "If you don't want to live here we can find you somewhere else" he said softly, even though the thought of her moving out killed him inside.

Lifting her head she looked at him and realised he didn't understand what she actually meant. She gulped and looked down sadly. She felt so tired, so exhausted. Her heart was shattered into millions of pieces and her head was all over the place. "I don't mean that, I mean in life....itself..."

His eyes widened in horror. "What!"

She stayed silent in his arms and pressed her forehead against his chest. Taking small breathes she squeezed her eyes tight painfully. "I can't take much more of this pain, I feel so disgusting, so worthless"

"You're not!" He barked angrily his eyes hard and angry from the very idea of her having these thoughts. Pulling her in tighter against him Sweeney stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "You're so many things Nellie but worthless isn't one of them" he whispered meaning it with all his heart. It was crazy how much she meant to him now, he hated himself so much that he didn't discover that earlier. Then she wouldn't have suffered like this. He knew he was to blame, for all of this.

"You're beautiful, clever, caring! You're a wonderful mother and Mae needs you..." He rambled out almost desperately. He had never felt so afraid in all his life yet with Mrs Lovett having these depressing thoughts he could very well have a heart attack.