My Crazy Rocker

Chappie 39 - Madaya Ka

Its late midnight, and I can't sleep, nandito ako ngayon sa bench ng garden namin, nagpatimpla ako ng gatas, baka sakaling antukin ako.

Then he popped up again on my thoughts..

I was so amazed to him, dahil naitago niya yung feelings niya for me all this time.

And kahit saang angle ko isipin wala akong maalala na naghinala ako na may ganung feelings na pala siya para sa akin.

At the same time I feel so guilty.

Loving someone who can't love you back is really painful but what more if the one you love, was inlove with someone else the way you're inlove with them, thats.. seriously heartbreaking.

Kay Jeron pa naman ako nagoopen up about sa nararamdaman ko kay Ace, Ang sakit siguro sa part niya kapag naririnig niya kung paano ko paulit ulit sinasabi kung gaano ko kamahal si Ace.

He's been so good to me, so good na kahit ako ay nagagalit mismo sa sarili ko.

Lagi na lang ako nagagalit sa sarili ko dahil sa mga unintentionally wrong moves ko.

I treated him as my Bestfriend and my savior, pero hindi ko man lang siya nasave against myself, ang sama ko! Nasaktan ko siya ng sobra.

Gosh why is this happening?

No.. not my Choco, I can't afford seeing him hurt, please not him, not my own saviour.

I remember I once said.

"Ayoko siyang masaktan ng kahit sino, pero kung hindi talaga maiiwasan I'll make sure na nasa tabi niya rin ako palagi."

But now tell me how can I continue being at his side when I was the main reason of his pain.

Naiiyak na ako hindi ko alam na may mas hihirap pa sa naging sitwasyon ko noon.

One thing is for sure for now I won't choose to be happy while someone is hurting, alam ko yung pakiramdam kaya ayoko sana maramdaman yon ni Jeron but it's too late.

Now what should I do?

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Today I woke up early for school and Im now done with my daily routines, and im up for breakfast.

Nang matapos na ako sa breakfast ko, niready ko na yung susi ng kotse ko.

"Mom im going." Utas ko kay mommy na nagtatype sa laptop niya while having her breakfast.

"Bye Dad." utas ko naman kay daddy nang humalik ako sa kanya, habang nagbabasa naman ito ng newspaper at umiinom ng kape.

"Okay, take care baby girl." anila

While I was heading outside, I spill out a heavy sigh, I'm still currently feeling down about it.

Nung papunta na ako sa garage nagulat ako sa nakita ko sa gate namin..

"Goodmorning, ready to go?" Aniya ng nakangiti

Panandalian naglight up ang sistema ko, napangiti naman siya lalo sa naipakita kong ekspresyon.

Pero bigla akong nakaramdam ng guilt, feeling ko mali ang gagawin ko kung hahayaan ko ang sarili kong sumama kay Ace knowing na masasaktan si Jeron.

Obviously nawala ang ngiti ko dahilan kung bakit nabawasan din ang ngisi ni Ace.

"What are you doing here?" Utas ko at kunyari abala sa paghanap ng kung ano sa bag ko.

"Oh come on as if you don't know why im here, Kate." Aniya