Into my Insanity

Do I have Schizophrenia?

I must be out of my mind.

I was bored one day, and out of interest,I looked up the possible symptoms of Schizophrenia.

I don't see things anymore, like when I was a child, but I do hear my name being called when no one is there and things being said to me when I'm alone.

Again, I could just be out of my mind with a vast imagination for creepy things.

Also, another symptom is to feel like your being watched all the time and being extremely paranoid that someone is watching you or coming for you in some cases.

I do, in fact, feel like a lot.

Call me crazy or an attention seeker, but I am not what it seems. I really don't lie about these things that are completely serious in the matter.

What if this delusion keeps going on like this?

I could end up as mentally unstable for the rest of my life, which is why no one will ever know except the random strangers who read this.

Sitting in the dark corner of a white hospital room seems like it might be my future.

Scratching on the wall, tallying the days you've been there, how long you will live with the last sanity you have.

All the other people, trying to get you to talk, tell them why you happen to be insane or different from the rest of the world.

It makes no difference, I'll always be this way, because it's always been like this since I was little.

I used to talk to no one, because I felt that is someone was watching me, I should talk to them, even if they're invisible.

I bet my parents shook it off, telling themselves that is was just my bright imagination, but I'm still like this.

As I look back on the life I've lived so far, it all comes back to me either talking to nothing, or seeing things that aren't there.

What have I become?