*Ava’s POV*
When you look at the world carefully you see its flaws, the beauty and everything in-between. It’s the same with people, we judge each other on the way we look or dress, not our personality. I wish things were different, I wish I was able to make choices without other people glaring at me whilst doing them.
I know I shouldn’t feel what I feel for Connor, but we only give ourselves the love we deserve. Although the pain he caused me was painful, I will never be able to not love him. Ever since he’s been in here I’ve had this deep feeling of sadness, loss or even a little loneliness. James cares for me as I do him but my love for James isn’t as strong as Connor’s and I don’t think I could ever change that. I know I have to tell James but I’m not ready for the reaction I get.
“Here, I bought you some coffee” Connor handed me the cup of steaming liquid.
“Thanks”
He took a seat next to me and sighed.
“This is not what I wanted to do today”
“Me either” I chuckled
“Do you know what it is today?” he turned to me and asked.
“No?” I was confused, trying to find an answer.
“it would have been our two year anniversary”
“Oh” I didn’t have to say much before he changed the subject, noticing the awkwardness.
“So, any news on Alex?”
“Nope, still the same”
We sat around a little longer, I decided to call James.
“Hello” he answered
“Hey”
“Oh, hi”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just a bit fed up”
“Why?”
“I’m stuck here alone, you would be too”
“James my son is in hospital, what do you want me to do? Clone myself”
“I know, I know but you don’t have to spend every second there”
“I want to be here for my son, if he’s dying then I want to be here to say goodbye and if he’s recovering then I’m still going to be here to help him”
“Whatever, I care for him a lot, so if he wakes tell him I loved him yeah”
“You’re such an idiot”
“Bye” with that he hung up, leaving me left angry. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and left the ward, walking through the hallways.
I found myself at the ward for terminally ill, I stared at the seats right outside the emergency care unit. I pictured my fifteen year old self sobbing in the chairs, doctors apologising for my loss.
This is where my mum passed away, in that very room. She was too young. Why is it all the nice people get taken before everyone else. It shoes you, life is a bitch. You can’t ever be consistently angry with someone, you don’t know when it’s their last day on earth. I regret not spending more of my teen years with my mother but I didn’t realise she would be taken from me so soon. I knew my mum long enough to know how special she was, she didn’t let anybody hurt us and if they did they’d have hell to pay.
I say myself on the chairs, pulling my knees up and resting my chin on them, breathing in and then out. a few tears rolled from my eyes and I felt myself shake. I haven’t even realised how much I miss her. Her morning breakfasts and early wake up calls when I had to go to school, god I miss her so much.
I felt an arm go around my shoulder and it brought me out of my memory’s.
“I thought you’d be here” Connor spoke softly, almost a whisper as though he didn’t want to disturb me.
“Here I am” I sniffled
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding meaningful.
“No”
“What did James do because I will hurt him” he laughed, also making me chuckle lightly.
“He was just being stubborn James, he’s mad at how much time we’re spending together”
“He should be worried” I looked at Connor.
“You know I love you” he sighed
“Connor” I tried to stop him.
“No, Ava. You know you still love me. You have James but do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? What about me? What am I supposed to do without you, you, me and Alex. We can be a family again, please Ava” he begged
I stared at him and before I knew what I was doing my lips were attached to his and my arms around his neck.
YOU ARE READING
Brave| Connor Ball
Fanfiction"I know you're lonely. I think you need someone to want you, well I do want you. So be brave, and want me back" Every day seems the same to me. I sit around and think about how alone I feel, then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the...
