Straight To The Heart

Chapter 2

Driving over to Subway to get one of my favorite subs Chicken bbq, with a sides of Chocolate chip cookies, Garden salsa sun chips, and a coffee. Getting back to the hospital, I quickly make my way to the cafeteria to eat. Knowing I have to be close to my patients and also remembering I told Marissa I'd meet her to talk for lunch.

Just as I start to unwrap my sub I feel someone tap my shoulder. Turning around I'm greeted by a smiling Marissa.

"Hey! I didn't think you'd make it" she greets "I heard about your new patient. I know when you get new patients you tend to forget your appetite."

"I like to give my patients my full attention. What can I say." I shrug.

"Have you ever considered that going without eating will eventually take a toil on your physical strength? Then you'll be no good to your patients." She scolded

I scoffed at that "Your worried about my physical strength? You should be worried about the abuse my mind is taking from the lack of rest. But hey I don't complain, I signed up for this. I knew the challenges that would come with my work. But I'll take the hunger and lack of rest any day. Just to know that a patient was able to go home and continue on with their regular life. Food doesn't matter so much when a patients life is hanging in the balance." Knowing I was rambling I leave it at that and start eating my food. After taking a bite, I noticed Marissa is staring at me with a look I cant quite decipher although it looks close to awe.

"What?" I reply after swallowing.

Just realizing she'd had been staring I watch as she quickly looks away shaking her head.

"Nothing." She replies " Well nevermind, I guess it is something."

Knowing how dramatic Marissa is I set my sub down and give her my complete attention. "Well, what is it?" I ask knowing that's what she was waiting for.

After a dramatic sigh "I was just thinking about what you said. I could tell your love for your work when you spoke. The determination you have in making sure another person can have another chance at life. Even if it means setting aside your own needs and health. It amazes me how passionate you are about your work. I have never met anyone here in the Medical field that has the fire and drive you have. Most of my colleagues would put up a fuss if they had to skip lunch. Let alone for a patient." She answered thoughtfully

"Thank You Marissa." I say with a small smile "But there isn't really much to it. I treat my patients how I would want to be treated. After all I became a doctor to help other people. My whole goal is to make my patients feel as comfortable as I can while they are pain." I say in hope that she'll understand there's nothing special to me. I figure why the hell go through 6 years of schooling and 3 years of a residency just to be uncaring to your patients.

"But how?" She suddenly asks "How do you get through 16 hour or more shifts? And what I would really like to know is how you keep a genuine smile on your face through it all?"

Sighing, I refuse to tell her my real reason of why I'm so passionate about my work. and more specifically why I chose the department I did. Marissa is a good friend and colleague, but that's as far as our relationship goes. Besides that fact, I vowed I would never speak of that experience of my past again until I came to terms with it or at least have some questions answered. Only a handful of people knew about it. Which was my family and 3 Best friends. And until that day I got answers it was going to stay that way. And the only way it would come out of my mouth again is if I really trusted that person and felt it if the utmost importance to relay to them what happened.

Knowing I had to reply in some way "Because I love what I do" I finally say knowing it's not a lie but a good enough answer for her curiosity "I like knowing that I can offer someone relief when they are in severe pain. Helping people has always been something I love to do. I know people hate being in the hospital and I know damn well no one likes to be in the critical care unit! So as a doctor I know it's my duty to make them feel as comfortable as possible and not just walk all over them. I walk around with a smile on face because I know that even if it's just me being polite, respectful and considerate it can make a difference in that patients life. And how their recovery goes." Hoping that will be enough to quell her curiosity, I start eating.