Pent up

This is fucked

Going to sleep was fairly quick after that, a quick four hour nap was what I needed to get up and get ready. And an aspirin, but whatever.

As enjoyable and drama free kissing Cris was last night, it was more anxiety inducing hours later, my heart was having a hard time deciding whether from dread or excitement, my fingers shaking as I laced up my sneakers.

He was so adamant about our relationship in the beginning, saying he didn't like breaking people up and that it wasn't right being with me when I had a girlfriend, yet it seemed it didn't work the other way around, as he didn't seem bothered at all to kiss me when he's the one in a relationship. Did that mean he was maybe not serious with Martin? That we could have a chance or maybe he's just playing with me? He is a dumb jock after all, and Diego warned me he is a player...

We both are dumb gay jocks, dumb stupid gay jocks. I'm really regretting being born right now, I clutch my still pounding head and my roommate gives me a pitying stare.

"Are you sure you don't need another aspirin?" he asks, and I shake my head

"I'm not used to taking meds, my stomach will start hurting"

"Naturalist parents?"

"Something like that" I shrug "Never really got sick so I never had to"

"Stay hydrated then" He tosses me the water bottle he's holding "And take it easy"

"Yes, mom" I chuckle at his concern, but I'm grateful for the mouthful of cold water.

"Fuck off" he smacks the back of my head playfully "Let's go"

We stop by a shop to have a snack before heading out, as I'm not really ready to vomit all that ice cream I ate in the morning because I exercise on an empty stomach, but with the knot in my throat from the anxiousness, I only manage a few bites of a soggy sandwich, and then we are walking.

"So, uh, what are you gonna say" Diego asks, still munching on his blueberry muffin.

"No fucking clue" I mutter, scratching my head.

"Okay, but like, don't make it weird, please?" he hissed

"I won't!"

"Sure" He rolls his eyes "I totally believe you"

"Fuck off, I don't even remeber anything so after we play I'll just... ask him I guess?"

"Do you want me to... mediate or-"

"No, no, don't let this bother you, man" I say, bashfully.

We reach the basketball court, it's empty, Diego crosses his arms and kicks a ball in frustration.

"It already does"

"Yeah" I sigh "sorry"

"It's okay, you fucknut" Diego punches my arm "but thank you for apologizing"

We smile at eachother, and then we hear a basketball hit the ground.

"Dieguito" We hear from behind us "Ready to get plummeted?" Cris, bed head and saggy sweatpants, beautiful as always, swaggers towards us.

"Are you?" Diego meets the other in the middle of the court, the two friends make a complicated handshake and I stand there awkwardly, watching.

The short one quickly steals the ball from Cris, dunking a perfect 3 pointer as the other is left standing there, amused at his friends antics, but now he's walking my way and - oh god what do I do!

Act natural.

"Hey, man, what made you get off your lazy ass and come, huh?" Cris throws an arm around me, trapping me in a side hug.