choke ↣ joshler ✓

36. Sorry

Brendon paced around his room, his hands caught in his hair and holding onto it tightly. It's been almost a week since Dallon got arrested. He was going crazy. Day by day he felt the small amount of sanity he still had left slipping from him.

The night before he, Josh, and Ashley had gone out and fucked Frank up. Josh obviously enjoyed it the most because he had the biggest issue with him but it relaxed Brendon. It made him feel significantly better to feel the blood on his skin and the power in his body. He felt different after last night. It was a different kind of rush. More like a high.

Ashley was supposedly on her way over to his but Brendon didn't have enough patience to wait. His parents were out on a date and he didn't like being alone. Being alone meant time to think and fall deeper into the pit of psychotic.

He sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. He just missed Dallon. Brendon had tried calling the station to see where they moved him but they wouldn't tell him anything. It was the first time in his life he's ever considered going within 100 feet of a police station let alone going to one.

His thoughts were cut off by Ashley walking into his room, shutting the door behind him. "The door was unlocked," she explained when Brendon gave her a look.

"What the hell took ya so long?" He grumbled.

"If you're goin' be an asshole 'm goin' leave," Ashley frowned. "I had ta wait for my mom ta fall asleep so I could take the car."

"Oh so Josh can be a dick ta ya all he wants but as soon as I ask a damn question ya get upset?" Brendon scoffed, referring to her calling him an asshole.

"Josh ain't a dick ta me," Ashley defended.

"Yeah he is. He's a dick ta everyone," he argued.

Ashley stayed quiet.

"That's what I thought. He's a dick ta everyone 'cept Tyler."

"I mean they are datin'..."

"It's bullshit," Brendon scoffed. "I suggest somethin' that's in the best interest of our whole group 'nd he freaks the fuck out. We've been together longer than they've even known each other it's so fuckin' dumb. If Josh didn' scare the absolute shit outta me I'd do somethin' about it."

Ashley didn't reply at first, just sitting down next to Brendon and letting out a sigh. "I hate this," she spoke quietly.

"Hate what?"

"Life," she clarified. "It's jus' so exhaustin'."

"Agreed," Brendon replied, swallowing. "I miss him," he said in a shaky voice. Ashley kept quiet so Brendon continued. "It was so different with Dal. It was like I was a normal person 'nd I didn' have all this shit goin' on up in my head. He loved me 'nd I loved him," he bit his lip when he felt a sob build in his chest.

"Did ya know he was goin' marry me?" He looked at Ashley with teary eyes. "He said once I graduated he said he was goin' move back ta Utah 'nd take me with him. He said we could do whatever the fuck we wanted there ta whoever we wanted as long as we did it together," he sniffled. "And now he's locked up 'nd they refuse ta give me an update so I don' know what the hell's goin' on."

"'M sorry," Ashley piped up. "I really am sorry."

"No you ain't," Brendon cleared his throat. "You don' feel remorse. None of us do. We get sad about the things that affect us directly but we don' care about other people we ain't attached ta."

"Then if I ain't sorry 'm sad with ya," Ashley corrected.

"Better."

The two sat there quietly for a few moments before Brendon's phone went off. He checked it and rolled his glossy eyes when he saw who it was from.

Tyler
Hey how are you feeling?

Brendon locked his phone and threw it on the bed. "God damn I fuckin' hate that kid."

"Who?"

"Tyler!"

"Why the hell do ya hate him? He ain't done shit ta ya," Ashley responded. "Besides y'all were close when he first joined our friend group."

"That was before he fucked shit up!" Brendon shouted. "First of all, his dad's a fuckin' cop! Second, his dad arrested my boyfriend! Third, we can' even breath in his direction or Josh'll kill us! Literally! Fourth, he's just so fuckin' annoyin'! Him 'nd Josh!"

"Why can' ya just be happy for them? Josh's found someone he hasn' just fucked 'nd killed 'nd Tyler feels like he's actually wanted aroun' Josh."

"Because neither of them are in fuckin' jail!" Brendon yelled, his face red and hot from anger. Suddenly he stopped.

A thought came to mind. Josh had gotten pissed at him the Saturday before Dallon got arrested. Josh got spiteful when he was mad and Josh got revenge on the people he had issues with.

"Did Josh report Dallon?" Brendon looked at Ashley and asked in a voice so calm it was scary.

The blonde looked down at the ground and didn't answer. Brendon's hand shot up and wrapped around her neck, blocking her airway. "'M goin' ta ask one more time. If ya don' answer me or ya lie I'll suffocate ya 'nd snap your neck right now," he growled as Ashley's face began to turn red. "Did Josh report Dallon?"

She nodded her head vigorously and Brendon let go. Ashley gasped for air as her face began regaining its normal color. "Fuck," she breathed out, rubbing her neck.

Brendon wasn't concerned about that though. He was so angry all he could see was red. His head snapped over to Ashley. "What happened?" He barked demandingly.

"Sunday night Josh went ta the police station 'nd left an anonymous tip with evidence of text messages between you two 'nd then him and Dal that he printed from the library."

Not only did he betray Brendon, he put their whole group at risk by going to the police.

It was in that moment that Brendon decided he wasn't scared of Josh anymore. He didn't care what the pink haired did to him. Brendon knew he wanted to ruin Josh's life just like how Josh ruined his.

And after Ashley left, he began making plans to do exactly that.