choke ↣ joshler ✓

37. Numb

Warning for talk of suicide and self harm. Although the suicide was staged it was staged very well so it goes very in detail with what happened. I'll put a marker when it's safe to read again because I know this is a sensitive subject and you can comment if you need a little summary

Tyler and Josh sat in Josh's truck as the latter drove them both to school. It was the Monday after Jenna's funeral and Tyler was still shaken up from not only that but the news of Frank as well.

Tyler's dad had gotten home late last night— a little after midnight —and Tyler had waited up to hear about Frank. He didn't think he could even close his eyes for any longer than a blink without knowing the full story. Granted, he still hadn't slept very well after knowing but it still helped.

His dad had said Frank slit each of his arms up and down and then hung himself. Tyler could never imagine him being suicidal but maybe that's why he bullied people all the time. Maybe he had his own shit going on he couldn't deal with. He did say Tyler should kill himself so he could have been projecting.

It's safe to read!

Tyler sighed and looked out the window. He felt Josh grab his hand but that didn't even bring a smile to his face. He felt himself slipping from reality and he thought he was going to go crazy with all the darkness building up inside of him.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, rubbing Tyler's hand with his thumb.

"Everything," Tyler admitted. "I mean doesn't it feel weird to you? The guy who bullied you for such a long ass time just drops dead? He only targeted me a handful of times but it's shaking me up."

"Hey was an asshole, Ty. He deserved it. Jus' don' worry about it. I don' want ya stressing out about it."

Tyler ignored the way the first part of what Josh said raised suspicion. He was just being paranoid. "Okay."

"I love ya," Josh reminded.

"Love you too," the brunette replied, slipping his hand out of Josh's in favor of opening his glovebox and pulling out a cigarette. He grabbed the lighter from the cup holder before rolling his window down a little and lighting the cigarette.

The two rode in silence the rest of the way to school and Tyler hoped things got better. For his sanity, he prayed they got better.

---

Things did not get better.

It was November 28th. A Tuesday. Everyone had just gotten back from Thanksgiving break and no one was in a good mood. No one except Brendon.

The four were all sitting at lunch when Brendon sat down, looking excited. He had been in a better mood the past few weeks. Alarmingly better for someone whose boyfriend was arrested earlier that month.

It annoyed Tyler to be honest.

"Hey, guys!" He greeted.

"Why are ya so god damn loud?" Josh groaned from where he sat with his head on his arms.

"'Cause 'm in a good mood."

"And why are you of all people in a good mood?" Tyler asked, making his annoyance obvious.

Brendon looked at him with a tight smile on his face before speaking. "I have a date tonight."

"Ya do?" Ashley asked, surprised. "With who?"

"His name is Ryan," Brendon gushed.

"You sure moved on quick," Tyler commented.

Brendon shot him a look but Josh interrupted by speaking, not even noticing the exchange between the two. "Is he of age this time?" He joked, laughing slightly.