|Niall-Centric| Oneshots

Alone >> Niall Centric (Part 1)

-Niall isn't alone, and that's what matters.

Niall stared at his wall with dried tears marking his cheeks. His limbs felt numb from not moving. The ache in them had disappeared hours ago. The tears wouldn't fall because he had ran out of them forever ago. He felt nothing but pain, he wished he could feel numb, but nothing good ever happened to him these days.

He could feel the ghost of arms wrapped around him but when he turned his head to look, he was alone.

He was always alone.

Another wave of grief wracked his body as he hunched forward. His joints cracked and he finally felt the pain again. He slowly moved, but only to lay on the cold tile floor and curl into a ball.

He tried to hold himself but he didn't get any comfort from it. It wasn't the same when you were all alone. He needed someone right now and he knew that, but he just couldn't manage to make his legs work. He couldn't walk out of this room because then he would have to tell the world.

Even though he was out of tears, a sob still wracked his body as he gripped his hair in an attempt to make the world go away. The disgusting, unfair, piece of shit world that he lived in.

The only physical pain he felt was what he was doing to himself. When he finally realized that he was gripping his hair so hard that he was ripping it out, he let go. He didn't know what to do at this very moment. He couldn't function right, he was freaking out-no-he was slowly killing himself. He always knew he would die, everyone does. He just never figured he would be his own killer.

He closed his eyes as he clutched his chest. It hurt so much, to know this was all his fault. To know that if his brain-his body-could work right then this wouldn't have happened. He tried to think of anything that could get his mind off of this, but he couldn't.

There was suddenly pounding on his door. Whoever it was were frantic. They pounded on the door to the rhythm of Niall's heart. Beating rapidly as he gathered everything in him to get up. He thought about staying where he was and maybe just waiting for whoever was here to leave. He didn't want to see anyone right now. He had gotten used to his own company.

After 5 minutes of nothing from Niall's end, the knocking on his front door stopped. Then he faintly heard the click of his locks as the door swung open. He didn't have any willpower left in him to see if he was being robbed, or if it was someone who had a key.

"Niall? Where the hell is he?" Louis wonders, turning to the others like they knew. Zayn shrugged but looked around the small space anxiously.

"Paul said he was up in his room. Do you think he went down to get some food or something?" Harry thought out loud to himself.

The others responded by heading for the door to check when Liam noticed the bathroom door was closed. "Niall?" He called again, in hopes that he would get an answer.

Niall wanted to yell for them all, to cry and tell them what happened. He wanted them to know he was here, he wasn't going to disappear. He was here.

But his mouth stayed closed. He shook as the cold seeped into his skin. He couldn't make a sound as Liam knocked on the door lightly. "Niall?" He called in concern but Niall stayed still and silent. It was poison in his lungs to talk about it, poison running through his veins all leading to one place.

"Niall? I'm coming in." Liam yelled through the door and opened it gently.

"I'm going to laugh if he's not there and you've been talking to-" Louis began but froze when they all saw him.

They all crowded, trying to make sure he wasn't hurt while Niall stayed completely still. They fired questions at him left and right, it was too much.

"Do you think he's in shock or something? Why isn't he moving?" Harry fretted while Liam tried to keep them all calm.

"Niall? Can you sit up for me?" Liam tried and so did Niall but then his arms felt like lead. He couldn't do this alone, isn't that what he thought earlier? He wanted them here and now here they were. He couldn't talk about it, so he just threw himself into Liam's arms.

The boys all shared a look. They didn't know what to do, they didn't know what was wrong. They just didn't know. They watched as Niall continued to shake in Liam's arms. Something was very wrong.

"How can we help you?" Zayn finally asked, breaking the silence as his voice shook. He didn't know what to do. They all waited for Niall to tell them. They needed to know how to make this better.

"You can't." Niall finally managed, his voice was ragged and raw from crying. He finally looked at the others and he couldn't help it when he broke down again. He loved them with everything he had and soon they might not be here.

"What do you mean?" Harry wondered while trying to stop his hands from shaking.

Louis gritted his teeth to stop a sob from breaking through. "What's going on?"

Niall turned to hide his face in Liam's chest as he squeezed him tighter. If only they could fix this. He wished they could, he wished someone could.

He wanted to tell them as they watched him desperately, as if he was about to break before them, but he couldn't.

"I-" He gasped, trying to force the words out. His lip wobbled as he shook his head. "I um-" He tried again but ended up shaking his head and looking away. He didn't think he had any tears left but he was wrong. Fresh tears fell down his face faster than the beating of his heart as it hammered against his chest. "Please don't leave." He managed to sob and the boys were instantly by his side. They didn't know what was going on, but they knew nothing could separate the 5 of them.

"Never." They all promised and they didn't know what was wrong but Niall appreciated that they didn't ask again.

•—•-•—•-•—•-•—•-•—•-•—•-•—•-•—•

It was only later that Niall finally came clean. They were all watching a stupid movie or pretending to at least. Everyone knew Niall wasn't, he was just staring into space, motionless. And the boys were all pretending to, subtly watching Niall instead.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there today." Niall whispered. The boys wouldn't have heard him if they hadn't been paying attention to him. Even then, they weren't sure they actually had heard him right.

"It's okay." Zayn muttered quietly. He rested his hand on Niall's thigh gently and Niall immediately laid his hand on top. He gripped Zayn's hand so hard that Zayn had to bite his cheek to stop himself from yelling out in pain.

"I have cancer." He finally managed to say, but broke off his sentence with another sob. He let go of Zayn's hand to cover his face as he cried. The boys were all frozen in shock at the news.

Harry was the first one to move as he rushed over to pull Niall into his arms. "I'm here." Harry cried. He didn't know what else to say, because this was something he couldn't fix. He couldn't help Niall, he couldn't tell him everything was going to be okay because the truth is, it may not be in the end. All he could do was be here for him.

The hug slowly grew into a group hug as the boys shook themselves from their dark thoughts. Harry was right, they were going to be here for Niall because that's all they could do.

"I love you." Louis muttered in disbelief. How could this happen to Niall? Of all people, how could it be his Niall?

"We all do." Liam added. "We are going to be here every step of the way. I promise." They all squeezed him tighter, like they were trying to hold all his broken pieces together. And that's all Niall needed to hear.

He wasn't alone.

With his boys and family by his side, how could he ever think he was alone?

[1427 Words]