Lost Myself Without You

Chapter 5: Dealing With Pain

Hannah's past...☆

I was going through a very hard time after seeing all the shit that I saw, And I started going out with people I never had in my past, Only because they where in gangs, But not just any gangs, They were in those gangs that would steal, Beat up people, Would even kill if they have to.

I felt alone in this world so the only reason I had gotten around them was for drugs and alcohol. They would all share a big bag of cocaine, As pure as diamonds, It looked stunning at first knowing I never done that in my life, This would be my first time trying it. So I grabbed a key and placed the key inside the bag, Slowly taking out a little load of coke.

Once it reached my nose I sniffed the whole entire shit. And man that felt awesome, I did it again on the other nose which was the right. And that with alcohol was the perfect match. Oh and don't forget to add a cigarette.

At least it helped a lot to deal with the kind of shit I was dealing with Since the whole world had collapsed on top of me, For a moment back I felt lost, But now... I feel good.. Very good. You can feel how it numbs you and so does numb your pain as well.

As I started to hang with these people I started doing things not even I would know I was capable of. Like one day I went to a store and started to do coke inside the store's bathroom. And once I got out I started to get hyped up and had the feeling to shoplift.

It can sound stupid, But I stole a lot of cool stuff, Like Rings, Bracelets, Clothes, And also food. But that was the only way to get my mind distracted from overthinking about my ex.

So I kept doing that until I found a better way to keep my mind occupied, and this one was dangerous and harmful. I sliced my wrists and my entire hand for the very first time, I had my left hand entirely bleeding so much I had to wear long black sleeve shirt all the damn time.

I looked emo of knowing how hot it was outside and I had to keep it cool so no one can ever see my scars. And that's when cutting was so much easier to deal with pain then shoplifting.

But also coke did it's work because it will numb my pain while cutting will let my pain out so both worked pretty well. I started to see myself in the mirror and was amazed at how much I had changed so much.

But that was when I was only 15 and my first boyfriend had broken up my heart, The one I turned my virginity to, The one I had the best time of our lives whenever I would feel down he will make me smile. The one and only who stole my heart and smashed it into thousands of pieces in 2 years in half.

I always wanted to have a kid with him though, but thank god that didn't happen, it was a long-distance relationship where I was in Miami and he was living currently in Cuba.

I found out the harsh way, his "best friend" as he called him so, Turned his back on him because he had some kind of crush on me, so he decided to record my boyfriend and get him on camera pressing his lips against another girl. But it's not just any girl though!

It's the girl he introduced me as his little sister so-called best friend. He always hanged with her while we were dating of course. But I always suspected there was something going on between those two.

But eventually karmas a bitch!

And his "Best Friend" had to spill the entire proof with evidence. So that was the last time I had flew to Cuba just to see him. He made me turn into someone I never knew before. I felt shocked by the way I was acting afterward.

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Authors note

Hey, guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter please let me know of any grammar or errors that you may find so I can be able to fix it and make my story better with the help of you guys. Please stay tuned for more chapters coming up.. please comment below of what you think about the story and please leave a vote before you exit thank you love you all for your support💕