The Dip and the Resurface

Part 26

Tyler

I was such a dipshit. An idiot. A fucking moron. A coward.

I was lying on the hotel bed alone, thinking of my conversation with Ivy.

Right now, I was grateful that Josh and I were going home to America tomorrow. I couldn't wait to leave all of this behind me. Or at least I hoped that I was able to.

Right now, I couldn't let go of the thought of her. Seeing her tonight really had made all my feelings for her resurface, and I wondered if the heartache I was currently feeling was because I knew that I would never see her again - or if it was because I actually might be in love with her...

I fished my phone from out my back pocket and opened the camera roll. I scrolled over all the pictures I had taken while Josh and I had been touring all over Europe, and finally found what I was looking for: her.

I didn't even know why I was even looking at the picture. I had been staring at it so much that I memorised every detail of it: the shade of the sunrise behind her, the slight crinkle to her green satin dress, the smooth leather jacket, her blonde hair with the silver elastic band, the crow's feet around her eyes, her crooked little tooth, and the way the shutter had immortalised the way she had been looking at me as I had taken the picture; with wonder and excitement.

"Fuck me," I whispered to myself as I realised exactly why I was feeling the way I did.

-

I hadn't intended to fall asleep but woke up when there was a soft knock on the door to the hotel room. I looked at my phone: 7.02 am.

Josh wasn't lying on the bed beside me. It was probably just him knocking.

I pulled myself up from the bed and shuffled to the door, "did you lose your key card again?" I said as I opened the door.

To my surprise, it wasn't Josh on the other side of the door. It was someone far prettier that made my heart skip a beat.

"Ivy? What are you doing here?

"Can I come in?" she spoke softly.

"Uh - yeah, uh, sure," I said and stepped aside.

She sat down on the bed I had just been occupying, "rough night?" she asked me.

"You have no idea," I sighed, "have you come to yell at me some more?" I tried.

She raised her eye brows at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "It was just a stupid attempt at being witty. I guess I'm just a bit confused - I didn't expect to see you here. I thought it was Josh."

"Josh is at my flat.." she said.

"What? Why?"

"Actually, he came by to yell at me," she smiled a little.

I was confused. I hadn't even spoken to Josh.

"He thought that I refused you because of your depression," she said and looked at me with a curious expression as if she awaited my response.

"My....my..." I tried. I felt myself hyperventilating, "How do you know?" I managed to speak.

"He told me everything.."

"I didn't want you to know.. Not like that."

"Then how did you want me to know?" She asked me.

"I should have told you myself but I was afraid of your reaction."

"My reaction?" she looked sad, "I would have understood."