Forbidden Love (Scrapped)

Chapter 32

The rest of break flies by quickly. Each day more and more girls come back to school and by Sunday night, all of us are back. However I have not seen one person.

Maybe I have just not crossed paths with her. It is nearing the end of the semester and she must be busy with finishing up grades and figuring out a final for her classes. Despite she doesn't need to do a paper final, it is still difficult to know how to test your students musically.

Before I go to bed for the night, I go down to the third level of the house to a door in the middle of the hallway. When I reach it I stand in front of it, questioning if this is the correct thing to do. I raise my hand in a fist up to the door, but pull it back down almost five times before I knock.

About ten seconds after I knock, Sierra opens the door.

"Oh hey," she says giving a small smile.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I ask her.

"Um," she looks down. But when she raises her head, she has a smile on her face. "Why not."

I smile back and we walk down the hallway to the staircase. We reach the bottom and walk out of the house and follow the path of small lamps to the quad. While we walk, neither of us speak, but the vibe isn't awkward or tension. It is nice.

We reach a bench next to the large pon and sit down.

"I'm sorry," Sierra says, breakimg the silence.

I look at her and can't muster words to say.

However all I can think of is: "It's okay."

I have never been one to get up and face uncomfortable situations. With Marilyn it was difficult to go back and see her because telling her I am gay caused all of this. If I had just kept my mouth shut, maybe I wouldn't be so confused and sad.

"I want you to know I am not mad," I speak up after a minute or two. It really feels lile an eternity though. "I have always been an awkward person and whennit comes to uncomfortable situations, such as this, I don't knoe how to react. And then I push practically everybody away to not face the consequences."

She nods her head.

"But please don't think that this is all your fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. That was innapropriate."

"Not it is Okay," i raise my hands in assurance. "But if I happened to lead you on, I am so sorry. That is not fair to you."

"No." She shakes her head and looks at her lap. "I lead myself on. I imagined that you had feeling for me, i hoped you were flirting with me, I convinced myself you were, and that is completely on me."

We sit in silence for a couple more minutes. Neither one of us knowing what to say.

"But," she continues. "I do still have feelings for you. And, I don't know when they will go away, but I love having you in my life, friend or more. And all i want is for you to be happy, so if that is not with me, that is okay."

"Thanks Sierra," i lean over and give her a hug. "Now lets go to bed because we have classes tomorrow."

We get up and walk to the dorm house and talk about our breaks, but me leaving out Adelaide.

***
I am about to go to my last class of the day, band, and I am an absolute wreck. I don't want to see adelaide. Well, scratch that. I really want to see her, she's my girlfriend. But I hate not talking to her.

I walk into class and I see everyone sitting in their seats. I look up at the board and see that it says we are not using our indtruments today so I walk straight to my seat.

I make small talk with the girl sitting next to me, just about how our thanksgiving was and making jokes.

"Alright everyone listen up?" That doesn't sound like Adelaide's voice.

I look up to see a teacher that I have seen around school, I believe she teaches Marine Biology.

"Miss Park will not be here for thw rest of the semester, and I will be substituting this period."

I feel my whole body heat up.

She didn't show up?

I don't think things are that bad?

"You girls are free to work on anything you like, or simply just talk silently. Miss Park did not give specific instructions."

Should I have called her?

I sigh softly and pull out a book to read, trying to hold in the tears.

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