Forbidden Love (Scrapped)

Chapter 35

I spent all night writing my eulogy and practicing taps. Luckily I had Adelaide with me to perfect it. If anything goes wring and my mother's funeral, it won't be my causing.

I walk into the shower and I immediately sit down, bury my head in my knees, and sob.

I miss her hugs. I miss her pep talks. I miss her laughs at my cheesy jokes. I miss her calling me "sweetheart".

"Baby?"

I didn't realize I was crying so hard.

"Willow?"

"Yeah?" I finally respond. Sounds more like a frog croaking.

She opens the shower curtains and turns off the water.

"Baby," she sits on the bathtub ledge. "I can't even imagine the kind of pain you are in right now, but let me help you get through this funeral. Then you can cry in my chest and I will hold you as long as you like."

I nod my head and keep my arms wrapped around my knees.

"Can you help me get ready?" I ask her.

"Definitely." She grabs my robe and I stand up. She helps me put it on and I tie it.

I sit in front of the mirror and she begins to blow dry my hair. I feel her fingers run through my hair and it is calming. Possibly the only thing that doesn't make me want to start sobbing.

Once she finishes blow drying she grabs the curling wand to curl my hair.

"I can't believe you straight up opened the curtains while I was naked."

She chuckles. "Well, it's not like you have nothing I don't have. Why? We're you uncomfortable?"

"No." I shake my head. "I was just surprised. And, you're my girlfriend. I can trust you."

She gives a smile and continues to do my hair. Finishing with clipping back the sides.

I put on the black jumper, with black wedges. And I top it all off with my mom's favorite necklace. A silver chain with a cross. I vow to never take it off.

I turn around to look at Adelaide sitting on the bad watching me.

"I'm ready." I lift up my hands slightly, my voice breaks, and I feel the tears begin to rush up to my eyes and my nose heating.

She walks up to me and grabs my face and kisses my forehead. "You are strong, and Lydia, Sam, and I will be right there to support you."

I grab my trumpet and my bag and head downstairs.

"HeyPooh," Sam says with a soft smile. "Are you ready?"

I nod my head and we all walk out the door.

"Hey, so we had to switch the funeral from at the church to the amphitheater." Sam says as he drives.

"Why?" I ask.

"You'll see." Lydia says with a smile.

I look at Adelaide with a confused expression and she only shrugs.

We arrive at the ampitheater and when I get out of the car my mouth drops. The ampitheater can fit 300 people and it is almost filled. The church couldn't even fit close to this many people.

I feel the tears once again rush to my eyes and we all walk down to the bottom where family will sit. I greet my aunt's, uncles, and cousins that I know of but never entirely cared to remember stories of because as many times my mom would invite them, they would never come.

My father asks that everyone takes their seats so we can begin. He reads the obituary and prays. When he comes back down to sit next to me, I see tears falling from his eyes. Maybe my dad does have a heart, just not for me.

A couple scripture verses are read, a poem is read, and my cousin dances hula -My mom is who I got the Hawaiian from. After her I read the eulogy.

I stand up from my seat and walk up onto the stage to the podium. I set the papers down and take a deep breath.

"No eulogy will justify my mother. No eulogy will completely describe who she was as a person. So," I pause, "I will not give the usual eulogy on her achievements and important life events. I will tell you who she was as a mother, and I believe that many of you will relatento this.

She was so loving and accepting. She didn't care what I was doing or how I identified, she knew I was her daughter. When i was sad she would pull me into her arms and hold me until I calmed down. When I was hurt she would kiss my wounds. When I was happy she would celebrate with me. Throughout my life, she would support me through everything. "

I look down at my father and see him looking straight ahead, tears running down his face.

"And I believe that she was that for this town," I continue, "she would welcome everyone with open arms. When the town would hurt, she would hurt but also help the town get back up again. When a new baby was born into the world, or a new adult went off to college, she would be overjoyed.

Like me, you all may think, 'she had such an influence on this town, how will we go on,' and you will. We can take what we learned from her, and continue.

I know we already had a poem reading today, but I would like to recite one right now."

I feel my face heat up and the tears rush to my eyes and I know that I will not be able to get through this poem either crying.

"When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little-but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me-but let me go

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me but let me go."

Not even to the middle of the poem and the tears begin flooding out and my voice is breaking.

"My mother would not want us to be sad over her passing. She would want us to rejoice that she has passed on and is in heaven with the Lord. I know that is what she would want.

Thank you."

I grab a tissue at the podium and wipe my tears. I walk down the podium to my seat and sit down amd continue to cry.

"Thank you." My father leans over aand whispers. "Your mpther would be proud."

Adelaide grabs my hand and squeezes it. I lean my head on her shoulder and a video begins to play. The video contains pictures from when she was born to the week she died.

After the video ends I grab my trumpet and walk to the side of the stage and begin to play taps. As I play the ampitheater is silent and after I finish no one makes a move or sound.

The funeral ends and people come up to pay their respects.

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