Looking For Something Real (Sword Art Online)

12. A New Hope

Chapter 12- January 21st 2025- "A New Hope"

Kyoto

I sat bolt upright in bed yet again. Another night of broken sleep as I saw the deaths of Kirito and Asuna play on repeat. My psychiatrist had been trying to get me to forgive myself, saying that my grief was normal and that there was nothing I could do at the time. She was probably right, but that didn't stop me feeling this tremendous guilt.

I had found out from the SAO Incident Task Force that most of the survivors of SAO, nearly 6,000 in number, lived in or around Tokyo. This had put a damper on my psychiatrist's plans to have me meet with other survivors for joint therapy. However no matter what there was only three lives in SAO that I cared about in this moment. Kirito, Asuna and Liz. I had asked the representative from the task force who had interviewed me about them but they had insisted that the ware bouts and wellbeing of the other players was confidential at this time.

I stared up at the clock to see that it was 8:30 AM but in total I probably only had about an hours' worth of sleep. I could hear my parents in the kitchen preparing breakfast. They had both been incredibly supportive since I had returned, it kind of made me feel like a failure that no matter what, I couldn't get mentally better. I know they didn't see it that way but my mind had been damaged by the ordeal and was very vulnerable to those kind of feelings.

Rather than face them I would spend my days trying to find out anything I could about Kirito, Asuna and Liz. After all if the government wouldn't tell me anything I would have to dig for myself. I would spend all the time I could trying to find any information about specific players from SAO, but it seemed that the information was being tightly controlled.

My psychiatrist would have a fit seeing me do this, I could hear her voice in my mind 'by doing this you are only delaying your recovery. You have to accept their loss and move on'. She didn't understand though, I had made a promise and even while in my broken state, I intended to keep it. To that end I propped myself onto one of crutches and swung over to my computer chair nearby.

As my computer booted up an email notification popped up on my screen. It was from my psychiatrist and read:

Dear Reo,

I have received a notification from the SAO Task Force that they have set up a messaging board and chat system for the survivors of SAO. I feel it prudent to explain that this information was only shared with the assigned psychiatrists of each player to share with their patients at their discretion. Whilst I do doubt that this will help at all with your PTSD, I know that one way or another, you will find out about this on your own eventually. I've attached a link to the server in this email, but please don't get your hopes up.

Yours,

Akita Rujeo

As fast as my hand would move I snapped the mouse to the link and clicked. A website opened and began verifying my login credentials, which must have been embedded in the link. Once I was verified a new window popped up.

Welcome Reo,

To better help acclimatize the users of this forum and to assist in locating any friends you may have made within SAO your username has been set to Tyzn. Please feel free to use this service at any time and consider this a private space. Any use of threats or insults will be harshly treated with on this forum and should immediately be reported to the admins.

I knew the part about privacy was bullshit. There was no way that the Task Force wasn't going over every message with a fine tooth comb, but that didn't matter. I had to try and find my friends.