The Firefly Field Theory

|2| This is Exactly Why I Don't Drink: Part I

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PART I:

You grew up way too fast and now there is nothing to

believe.

And reruns all become our history,

A tired song keeps playin on a tired radio,

And I won't tell no one our name,

And I won't tell 'em your name,

And I won't tell 'em your name.

That line always makes me feel special, almost like a John Rzeznik is singing that last line to me, like he is saying Samha Khan, I know you are a Muslim and I know you were born in Pakistan, the country renowned as the birth place of terrorists, but if it makes you happy I won't tell no one your name.

Of course this is a bunch of nonsense but I believe it, I tell myself honestly it helps to be understood even the slightest bit.

I have had a theory for the longest time; parents have super powers (well some parents do), which explains how when I was born, mom was able to pinpoint the only true suit I would have in the future. I could be classed in the pool of people who got their names right thanks to their superhuman parents, my name is right next to Nelson Mandela's actually, whose African name means 'pulling the branch of a tree 'or in other words trouble maker. My name means tolerant, and for the most part I retain my sanity about the things that make people fly of the handle.

So when things started to look ugly for the Muslims inhabiting America, the looked even uglier for Muslims kids in middle school. Every white kid wanted to know how they could play their part in avenging their loss, even though they were just kids they wanted to be hot on the trail of every Muslim kid they thought was a threat to society. So while the FBI was going all bad ass on the elder Muslims they thought suspicious, the bullies in middle school were going all bad ass on the teeny tiny Muslims they thought suspicious.

In the end everyone gained nothing. In my opinion all of them were just adding insult to injury.

Imagine a kid peeing his pants in school in front of everybody and he completely embarrasses himself, but then he notices he peed over a senior's text book and then the senior gives him hell for something he had no personal control over, something he suffered from equally, and something he's not proud of. The kid takes all the shit in because well. Because he's just a kid, the little guy, the one who is supposed to be bullied. And here is a thought, it's the rule of the playground; when you did nothing wrong and the kids of the playground say you did, your opinion is immediately canceled, it doesn't matter anymore.

You lose your own opinion because everybody's got their fingers out and pointing at you, all you can do is accept the decision of the playground, regardless of what you think.

Your right to speak is lost when everybody says you messed up. No questions asked, no answers needed, just shut up and accept it.

I group of kids, in my school started the experiment on me; I don't recall their names or faces. I call it an experiment because being a kid, no matter how over confidently sure you are about something there is always a confusion, questions you don't know the answers to but you pretend you do and all the kids who follow you around think highly of you, but you are as confused as them. Anyway these kids tried their best to target the only kid in their class who was a Muslim, I remained tolerant and after a month or so they gave up and let me be. Getting at someone verbally is only satisfying when the other person shows signs of damage, when you successfully hurt them. I knew the rule of the playground, so I accepted their decision and took the punishment no Muslim deserved except for the man behind the attack. I accepted it.