The Firefly Field Theory

|8| Quit It With The Acronyms: Part II

PART II:

Yesterday when my shrimp comrade and I got the dog under control, we parted. It was getting dark and I was super hungry. I limped over to the wall; it wasn’t that high but I struggled because my legs ached, that is when I heard Z calling my name from the other side. On the other end he stood in the random placement of wild trees which hid the wall completely. So anyone from the road couldn’t actually see it. He helped me get to the opposite side. And when we got home, things were already a mess.

To my surprise, Mami happens to be one of those moms who are obsessed with her children. I thought it was just Annie she was extremely found of, but that is not true. She was freaking out and when I got back even mom risked asking me if I was alright. As I said we don't ask each other questions we think the other will be uncomfortable answering. So when I got inside the living room it was already crowded. Mom was seated a little in the corner quiet as a mouse, Mami was hovering like a hovercraft over Bravo, Bravo was lying outstretched on the longer sofa (ironically) panting like a dog. Wall-e would occasionally look up from the PSP screen like a nonchalant penguin and Annie was standing with a glass of water and the wide eyes of a mongoose. Now when I stepped into the scene I would like to imagine me and Z looked completely normal. That of course is what I would like to imagine. It really looked like Z had found some chipped wooden plank and had brought it home, hoisted on his shoulder with hopes of building a bird house. I noticed he slightly shook his head in embarrassment as his mom hovered over to me and sat me down on a sofa near Bravo. Although it was obvious that neither of us could talk, that didn’t stop Mami from the question bombardment.

“What happened? Are you hurt? Afreen say something! Who did this? What happened? Tell us!”

Z kept on with the shaking of his head and everyone looked at me with expectant eyes. And so I figured that in their heads I didn’t even qualify as a finalist in the ‘competition of the most exhausted’ and so I had to satisfy them.

And it wouldn’t have been that hard, if Mami wouldn’t stop me every three seconds just to say ‘what?’. Then assuming what I know about the word ‘what’ I just had to repeat what I had just said. So about after five times of repeating Bravo got chased down by a dog, Mami gets it. She still keeps asking Bravo of she’s hurt and Bravo due to lack of breath keeps panting and mouthing a no. About after five times of repeating that no it’s my turn. During that even mom asks me if I'm alright and so I have to say yes like six times, maybe. Any way it ended in the hospital, Mami wouldn’t stop hovering over us she immediately got me and Bravo into the car and drove us to get shots just in case; although I said and Bravo panted we weren’t bit. After we got back with a band aid each, Z solved the case and Bravo and I laughed it off. But not Mami she would bring it up and give us the special treatment that made Annie very jealous. At dinner that night the events of the day were being discussed and it was during that, I came to know that we were headed to the lady that sat on me (moms’ best friend) daughters’ wedding the following morning. And now we are getting our buts out of here.

“Listen, where are we headed exactly?” I ask as Z drives onto the main street away from the wedding house. The rain drops splattering haphazardly on the windshield.

“We have to get home first to grab some stuff and then to the CSD near our house.”Z sounds extremely excited and even looks extremely excited, I can tell because he jumps a little in his seat.

“Okay, please quit it with the acronyms.”I say.

“oh ah...CSD is like the Wall mart of Pakistan in its parking lot my best friends’ band FC is playing tonight at eleven.”

“And FC, what does that stand for?”

As soon as I ask, Z quickly places a finger on his mouth and motions with his eyes quickly zipping into the back seat for a second. I look at his expression a little puzzled when it occurs to me that Annie is just ten and maybe it stands for something inappropriate. So I drop it, but a second later the atmosphere gets a little tense when the one everybody is getting all this worked up for is first to repeat my question.

“What does it mean?” how is it that a kids voice feels extra sweet when they ask you something they shouldn’t know about. It just makes us adults extra sensitive.

The responsible and sufficiently uneasy adults in the car quickly synthesize the possible acronym break ups that pop in their heads and blurt them out simultaneously. Leaving the poor kid confused. Leaving themselves confused. I myself distinctly hear the words Flying choppers, Falling cats, Funny Cartoons and Finally Coming. As much as I would hate to admit it my contribution has to be the most inappropriate. ‘Finally Coming’ that is just wrong, no tasteful  band in the world would want let alone even imagine naming itself  Finally Coming, and I can’t really believe I say that in the strictly PG environment of the car, but in my defense I am an only child.

So this morning we travelled for about two hours and when we got here, I was reunited with the two people I had had incidents with. Incidents of the remorseful and confrontational kind. The Lady and her chubby son kept their safe distance from me on account of our unhappy past and the day passed by with minimum trouble. I wasn’t even asleep when I heard the bedroom door open and a nightgown appeared in it. It was Annie; I sat up because now whenever I am lying on the bed and someone comes into the room I am way more conscious than I have ever been or felt necessary in my life. She walked up to me and told me that she had forgotten to feed Flame and she was worried that she would die. And when I asked she told me it was her pet goldfish and began to sob. And this girl sobs an awful lot. I got up and upon not knowing what to do I asked her what she wanted me to do. Abruptly the sobbing stopped and the devils’ mind revealed itself, she told me that Bravo and the others were planning to get out of here and they wouldn’t let her come along so my job was to convince them and escort her royal highness home so she could feed her pet. That is how we ended up here. It is only now that I came to know where these guys were headed.

“What is Taylor Swifts color?”Z asks eagerly over the pitter patter of rain drops.

“No way, is that what your gonna wear?”Bravo asks surprised.

“Hell Yeah! “Z is in fact way too energized; he has forgotten the underage-kid-on-board problem.

“Z!” All of us responsible adults sing the alphabet together.

“Oops, sorry about that.”

“Anyway I’m not telling you then.”Bravo says.

“What the hell?”Z makes the same mistake whilst jumping up behind the wheel.

“Z!”All of our voices unite to reproach him again.
“Oops, sorry about that.”

“No way! I want Sam Smith and we all are dressing in blue.”Bravo says. This is all making no sense to me.

‘No, no. I want Taylor Swift!”Z sounds provoked and that is saying something because this is the usually subservient guy. In fact Z is not his usual guy self at all.

“Yeah that’s not fair! I want Panic, what color is that?”Wall-e joins in the argument.
“Blue.”Bravo says.

“What but that Sam gay Smiths color, Bravo quit it.”Wall-e is equally provoked. Why is everybody so touchy over the issue? What is the issue?
“It’s our choice, we get to pick! If Sam Smith has to win he’ll have to do it fair and square.”, the agitated Z calls out.

Bravo finally gives in, “Fine Taylor swift is at Red and Panic at the disco is Black, sheesh you guys.”

And it is only when this little fallout dies down that I venture to say to Z, “Please begin explaining.”

Z has the enthusiasm of a ten year old on Halloween, this sudden shedding of all his resolve in unsettling. Not only does he chirp continuously, he adds to my nervousness by bouncing behind the wheel, without his a seat belt strapping him into stasis. Even after his head has collided with a thump into the roof of the car, enough times to cause permanent nerve damage, he doesn't quit. There is no seat belt in the world that could constrain the bursting energy in him right now. Due to sheer proximity the energy sparks try to reach out to engulf me too, but I don't even know what the excitement is about.

So as soon as the conversation begins with my question, he starts talking without pause.

"Yeah !Okay, ever been to a concert?" His enthusiasm is coming across a little too creepy.

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