The Firefly Field Theory

|6| Shit Happens: Part II

Hello everyone:)

This chapter is dedicated to a totally awesome supporter and fellow fan of Supernaturals! Thankyou for helping me out! :)

Enjoy my story, please drop vote and comment if you like it:)

Read On !

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

PART II:

It is only when she opens her mouth do I realize that I missed the escape plan. Now what was funny was that being the twisted banana she was urged to give the ordinary OMG (the one that us bland mortals use) a funky twist to go with the rest of her. So when she said ‘Oye My Gawd’ instead of ‘Oh My Gawd” I struggled to keep the burst of laughter erupting at the base of my throat under control. The ‘Oye’ being said how an American would say ‘Annoy’ or ‘joy’ or ’coy’. For some reason every time she used her stylized term I cupped my chin in my hands and let my fingers slide to cover my suppressed smile, it was a constant struggle because she used it a lot. I mean a hell lot.

Her comments on her amazing acting skills.

“So like did everthin go down okay with you guys and all yesterday? You did’nt screw it up?...No! oh gawd that's great cuz I was like, so nervous cuz your acting sucks! No offense but like Oyemygawd! Just really bad, I had to cover you or your mom was so gonna find out you were lying, I mean like even I knew you were like lying! Cuz like Oyemygawd it was so damn obvious and you were so dead. It was a good thing your mom fell for it cuz of MY acting skills! Haha, did you know wait...I bet you would’ve guessed by now I am a great actor. And this friend of mine was like, you should so go into acting business and I was like…”

My thoughts while she comments on her amazing acting:

What?

Why the hell are you so surprised to hear that I didn’t screw it up?

What? What do you mean even you knew I was acting, I mean of course you knew! We were both lying! That was the stupid plan in the first place!

What the hell is ‘acting business? Whatever! Please do consider taking your ass into the ‘acting business’ and keep it out of my business.

Her comments on her hobbies:

“So like tell me what is your absolutely favorite thing to do like, all the time? Like mine is fangirling! I mean I am so in love with Daniel O’Brien and like (squeals) Oyemygawd! I die every time I look at him! He is amazing lookin, ahh so um what do you like to do?... Oyemygawd! Really? We are soooo much similar I absolutely love playing Candy Crush too! it is so awesome like Oyemygawd I am like totally addicted to it and this friend of mine was like dude you can’t even reach level fourteen and I was like what did you say to me? and within a weeks time I reached level fourteen, haha stupid girl I showed her whose boss huh? haha”

My thoughts as she comments on her hobbies.

What the? Fan girl-ing? What is that? Who came up with that?

Who the hell is that guy? And I can't imagine how you die every time you see him, did he look like Steve?

What in the world? Wait a second I said I am into sports. In which context do sports and Candy Crush fall under the same roof? Lady, Candy Crush is not a sport! How in the world does that make us ‘soooo much similar’?

You surmounted one level in a week? Yeah you! Somebody give this dimwit a medal.

Her comments as she talks about something related to her:

“…and….like…. Oyemygawd…….totally….and…..I……haha……literally……… Oyemygawd……and” it was only when I heard the letter Z being said in a loud whisper that I actually paid attention and asked her what she was talking about. She didn’t seem to mind, primarily because she didn’t have one.

“I am saying that I think that Z likes me…you know why a...huh?...How old am I? Well I am thirteen, why are you asking?...oh okay so like, just the other day I say him staring at me and then he was all deep voice on me when he asked me to help you guys out in your plan and I was blushing like crazy and Oyemygawd it was like, he was asking me out on a date and I was all, I'll do it and he was like, thank it would be a big favor and so now I am thinking about asking him to repay my favor hahaha….”

My thoughts as she continued fan girl-ing (which I was assuming was something girls do for guys they are fans of and since she was getting all fanatic I deduced she was a fan of the Z-man).

What? Oh boy, that explains why he avoids you.

Wait he is nineteen.

No reason it is just that you are just a thirteen year old girl very high on estrogen and oh god…

Well I have seen that guy play smooth with mommies of little kids just to get what he wants and I think it is safe to say you were no different. That deep voice was an act I don’t think you have been equipped with the brains to see through. Except he wasn’t asking you out on any date….Huh? Repay your favor? That is not even a properly constructed sentence. Please shut up.

But she didn’t she talked so much it wasn’t even talking anymore it was blabbering. The freakin tornado of blurted shit just zoomed past the landscape of my brain and swallowed every working brain cell I had. As for this girl even if she heard The Messiah ringing in her ears to shut the fuck up, she wouldn’t take the hint.

She is a unique blend you could create by taking three cups of fake, two and a half cups of dumbshit add a gallon of egoistic then kneed into a dough of a rotten character. Then add two tablespoons of constant chatter sauce and finally a teaspoon of stupid essence and kneed a little more. Leave the dough to set until you hear it talking about nail polish then put it in the oven of exaggeration and bake it till it starts fan-girling. Take it out of the oven and you will be able to tell that it is cooked well if you can’t get it to shut up. And don’t bother garnishing, she will add the ‘OMGs’ and the ‘I was like’ according to her tastes.

But after three hours of pure torture Sigma leaves. An incubation period of just three hours had given Sigmas’ DSV (dumbshitvirus) the chance to murder my hamster. So now the wheel was spinning but the hamster was no more. I need a reboot and fast. So I go into the bedroom turn out the lights, pull the curtains and lay down for a nap. Reincarnation blesses me with a snail instead of another hamster. Despite my agitated state of mind sleep came easily. But it doesn’t last I wake up as abruptly as I remember falling asleep. This time there is no birdie choir, it is the heavy voice of a woman that is way too high on the decibel scale to be classed polite. 

When I spot her in the door way my eyes grow wide because you just have to open your eyes all the way just to absorb all the light that is bouncing of this enormous lady. She has a phone pressed to her ear and the one she was talking to is not me but the person on the other end of the line. She appears to be a blurry black blob in my vision because 1. It’s really dark in my room and I can’t make out her features and 2. The entire expanse of her waist line matches exactly the space between the wooden slabs of the door, as if made her stand there as he constructed the door frame. So any light that makes the mistake of trying to enter the room would just humbly bounce back because standing in the door frame she is the freakin door. She is blocking the light enough that a dark shadow of her enormous silhouette falls on me.

I close my eyes thinking that if I keep doing what I am doing she will just get the message. I try to stretch the relaxing time and keep relaxing even if the not-so-scale-sized lady tries to interrupt my relaxing. But just as my brain is about to class her in the tolerable range, a fundamental alteration takes place, too fast for me to stop it.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Are you ready?

HAHA *Evil Grin*

But before you go please drop a vote!

Love Ya~