☆Save Me☆ {Frerard Fanfic}

10: tHaT yOuR aCtIoNs HaVe CoNsEqUeNcEs

Gerard's POV

It's a sad and strange feeling to wake up without anyone holding you. It feels like all warmth and love has been taken out of you, like you don't even matter to anyone. I know it sounds cliched, but its true. Waking up to expect a warm, beautiful person holding you, looking into your eyes so lovingly, but instead, are left with a cold, dark, sinking feeling, a giant hole in your reality for that special someone that you love with all your heart. The person you feel as though you need to survive. It feels like you've broken up with them, never to feel their gentle touch and never to hear 'I love you' again. I keep telling myself that he's okay, he's fine and Gracie and Loki are taking care of him until I save them all, but my eyes still spill over with salty tears, streaking down my face and onto my lap.

Frank stays running through my mind for most of the day, my poor heart yearns for him, to just see him, to know he's okay, to know that the love of my life is safe, and out of harm. Drink, you know you want to. My brain says, the other usually good side, was silent. I decide that its best to listen to my own head, going down to the bar down the block and getting so drunk that I pass out, not caring if my dead body gets found on the apartment bathroom floor. I sigh and take my credit card and aching heart down to the bar, hoping to find some salvation in drinking away my feelings. The bartender already knows why I'm here, and starts giving me rounds of shots, he knows this isn't right, but he still passes me one after another after another, feeling the liquor burn my throat and begin to take effect almost instantly. Someone throws me a saddned look, knowing what I'm doing, but making no attempt to stop me. After a short time, everything is spinning and blurry, I turn away to vomit, but continue to drink away, feeling worse and worse, everything completely blacking out after a certain amount of the burning alcoholic liquid.

"Gerard? Can you hear me sweetie?" someone says, tapping my face with something cold. I groaned, a stool tipped completely over, and people standing around in shock was all that I could make out in the room. During my brief glance, I discovered that the lady that woke me up was from the ambulance, her and someone else lifting me up on a stretcher, and into the back of an ambulance. The people lifting me up, jolt me around, the ambulance on the long ride to the hospital, doing the same. On one of the countless  bumps, I feel consciousness slip away from me, all my brain is thinking about is Frank, and the endless amounts of alcohol.

When I actually wake up, nobody is there to see me, which was expected as everyone I knew and loved was either locked away in a mental institution, a complete murderer or dead. A nurse walks over to me in the giant empty room, checking my vitals and making sure I'm still alive. "How are you, Gerard?" she asks, her blonde hair tied in a messy bun. I wanted to respond, but my brain wouldn't let me, all I can manage is a sickening nod. She sighs and checks her watch. "You've been out for a while." I didn't even think any time had passed since I was drinking my life away, feeling completely dead. The outside world was black, the blinding city lights getting me, as the drums of the city rain thundering against my window. "You nearly died." the nurse says with a rather frightening smile. I wonder what Frank is doing right now. Whatever he's doing, he's probably in a better state that I'm currently in.