Shadows and Lies

Chapter 15

Loki was lying in bed staring at the ceiling, a book open over his stomach. He was trying to read but he couldn't focus.
It was the day of Odins memorial, it was still early in the morning, but Loki was already locked up more heavily than normal; there were going to be hundreds of people here at once, even if Loki wasn't part of the party he had to be more heavily restrained so that he couldn't break out and cause a problem. He normally only had one chain around his ankle and the bands on his wrists to stop his magic, but now he had a much shorter chain on each ankle, his wrists were also chained to the bed so if he wanted to get up he could only walk about ten feet, and There were almost double the amount of guards outside his room.
He knew it was going to be a long day, he couldn't stop thinking about that look of disappoint on Thor's face when loki told him he wasn't going to the memorial. Thor hadn't come to talk to him since they had that conversation, and loki hated that he kept feeling guilty about it. He knew today Thor was going to be under fire, the people were angry that Loki was here, they'd be demanding to see him if only to spit on him, and the council would go back to telling Thor that Loki was a hopeless mess and not worth keeping alive.
Loki tried to distract himself with a book, but it was useless.
He knew the palace was already filling with people, these parties started the moment the sun came up and didn't end for several days sometimes.
'It's not to late, you can still change your mind' he thought to himself. He wasn't a fan of that part of his mind, the part that wanted him to do good. 'Shut up, I'm not celebrating odin' he said back to himself.
'But think of how it could help you in the future. And Thor said you didn't have to be social, just bring a book and settle in and read' he argued, it was a fair point, but Loki didn't like it. 'No! I'm not giving in, I'm not willing to even dignify this event with my presents' he told himself definitively, but the problem in arguing with yourself is that both sides are equally stubborn.
'Mother wouldn't want you throwing away your chance to get back on track' he thought 'mother wouldn't want you to let yourself get executed over pride. And Thor would be so pleased if you showed up, you'd really be baking him out too' he sighed and sat up. He hated arguing with himself, especially when he lost.
"Fandral!" He shouted. Every since the guards attacked loki, Thor made one of the warriors three stand outside, and Loki knew that today fandral was the one outside his door right now. There was no response, he knew Fandral heard him and was just ignoring him. He huffed and rolled his eyes and picked up a book from the table next to his bed, he then threw the book at the door as hard as he could.
"Fandral!" He shouted louder.
There was a pause and then the door opened and fandral walked up.
"Good morning Loki, how did you sleep?" Fandral asked with a slightly joking tone.
"Shut up Fandral. Unchain me" Loki demanded.
"Try again" Fandral told him, he liked to joke with Loki and push his buttons, so he wasn't going to let Loki be snappy.
"I'm going to go to the memorial, so unchain me" Loki said back, trying not to sound as annoyed as he was.
"You told Thor you weren't going" Fandral said back.
"I know that, I changed my mind. Help me get up before I change it again" he snapped. Fandral eased up a bit, he knew Loki didn't really want to go, but he was going anyway to please thor and get the council off his back.
"Well I have to tell Thor first" he said more seriously, with less teasing in his tone.
"Come on, this doesn't have to be a big production. Sneak me in, I'll sit in the corner and read a book, no one will even know I was there" loki argued. Fandral knew he should tell Thor, but in the time it took him to go find Thor, tell him loki had a change of heart, and then return, Loki May have changed his mind again.
"Okay fine. But listen, you're on a very short leash. Your magic will still be restricted, you'll be watched the entire night, and if anyone of us sees you start to step out of line we'll give you a nasty shock. Got it?" He didn't think Loki was planing anything, loki had actually been relatively good recently, but he wanted to make sure that loki clearly understood the fact that he had little to no freedom, even if he wasn't in chains.
"Yes I've got it, unchain me" loki said back irritably. Fandral went over and took the shackles off Loki's ankles and wrists so he could get up and leave with them.
"Don't say anything. We'll go in, you'll probably be noticed, so you just need to stay quiet and sit down and stay out of everyone's way" Fandral said throwing loki some appropriate clothes to put on for the event. Loki got dressed as quickly as he could manage, and then fandral came to bring him out. Thor wasn't expecting Loki to be there anymore, so Fandral  didn't like the idea of surprising everyone, but if Loki was willing to go then he didn't want to deny him that, it was good that he was willing to go.
The guards stayed very close to Loki, making sure he couldn't make a run for it as they headed to the ballroom where most of the people were gathered.
Unfortunately for loki, there weren't tons of people there yet, maybe a few hundred, but in the big room it looked almost empty. The problem with this is that when Fandral  opened the doors, and the sound of the opening echoed off the walls, it got everyone's attention, and suddenly everyone was silent, their eyes fixed on Loki. There was a moment of silence, and then Loki just couldn't help himself.
"Well you all didn't have to stop having fun just because I showed up" he said in a sarcastic and joking manner that was a little Too lighthearted for the people's liking. Suddenly everyone was talking over each other, demanding to know why Loki was here and why he wasn't locked up in a box somewhere. Loki thought the guards would step up to keep the people at a distance, but they didn't, they let the people get right up in his face, Fandral was the only one even trying to keep Loki protected, but he was just one man, so when one person actually grabbed loki and tried to throw him into the crowd for a beating, Fandral wasn't quite able to stop him. Loki was shoved I t the crowd and felt a hard punch to the stomach and he crumbled. He was still healing so minor attacks felt ten times worse. Someone grabbed him by the collar of his coat and he was pulled back to his feet. He was ready to take another hit when he saw that the person pulling him up was thor, and no one would dare try and attack Thor.
"Everyone calm down!" Thor yelled, still holding tightly to Loki's collar.
"Calm down?! We're not safe with him here!" Someone shouted, which just got everyone screaming again.
"Quiet!" Thor's voice carried and echoed through the room and silence fell once again.
"I understand the inclination to feel unsafe with Loki here. I do. And I don't expect anyone to be happy with him today. But I can assure you that no one is in any kind of danger. I have a team of guards that would be very happy for a reason to throw shackles back on him and they will be closely watching him at all times. He is completely unable to use any form of magic, and he has an implant in his neck that allows for me to incapacitate him at any given moment if he steps out of line even a little bit bit".
"I love you too brother" loki muttered sarcastically. He immediately felt a quick but painful surge of electricity run through his body. He tensed and would've fallen again if Thor didn't still have a death grip on his collar, holding him up.  "See?" Thor said, and seeing that Thor could essentially just tase Loki on the spot made the people feel a bit better, but they still weren't happy.
"If I may-" loki started to speak and saw Thor's hand go to the trigger again. "I'll be serious and helpful" Loki said quickly. Thor didn't take his hand off the trigger, but he didn't zap Loki so he continued to speak.
"I don't want to be here either" Loki said "making me come was, I believe, intended as a punishment for me. But I'm here and I'm going to stay, so let's just all try to get through the day without everyone being completely miserable. I don't plan on being in anyone's way, i just want to sit off to the side and mind my own business. If you all just go on about your day you won't even notice I'm here" Loki told them, they all looked between each other, if he was out of the way and closely watched and no one was in real danger, then maybe it wouldn't be too bad.
"Can you all deal with that? Can you all agree not to attack Loki as long as he's out of your way?" Thor asked. There was a silence, and then the crowd started to disperse and disgruntled mutters of agreement could be heard as people walked away and went to continued with their activities.
Thor, still with a tight grip on Loki's collar, shoved him forward and to the back of the room where there was a curved windowsill that loki could just fit in to sit and read for the days.
"What were you thinking?" Thor hissed at Loki as he sat him down in the window.
"Wh-" Thor cut him off.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming? Why did you think you could just show up like that? Are you trying to get me dethroned? Is that your plan in all this-" this time Loki cut him off.
"I was trying to help you!" He whisper shouted. "I don't want to be here, but I knew that my absence was going to cause problems for you on the council so I swallowed my own pride and showed up! If I'd known I'd be greeted with and electric shock and you accusing me of conspiracy against the throne then I just would've stayed away!" Loki didn't want to be here, the one and only reason he was here was because he wanted to help Thor, and he felt like he just couldn't win; no matter what he did Thor was upset. Thor saw how genuine Loki's face and tone were, and suddenly realized he was wrong, that Loki actually was just trying to be helpful and that he should be thanking him, not accusing him.
"Loki I'm- I'm sorry Okay, I assumed-" Loki cut him off again.
"Yeah I know what you assumed. You assumed I had some malicious intent, you assumed I was here to mess things up, you don't even give me a chance, you just automatically assume the worst of me" Loki snapped at him. Thor felt terrible, it really did take a lot for loki to show up, he shouldn't have treated him like that.
"I'm sorry. I was wrong to make that assumption" Thor wanted to kick himself. He was finally making some progress with Loki and then in a moment of confusion and chaos he may have just sent them back to square one. Thor didn't want loki to feel that he always thought the worst of him, he normally didn't, he was just caught off guard when suddenly Loki was there without warning.
"I'd like to read, if that's okay" Loki said, sounding more hurt than angry, which just made Thor feel worse. He could handle it when Loki was just mad, like a child throwing a tantrum, but when Loki was hurt, and he let it show, and Thor knew that he was the reason for it, it was so much worse.
"Yeah... yeah I'll give you some space" Thor said. He had the guards stand back a few feet So Loki didn't feel like they were hovering, and Loki just sat back and started reading, settling into his nook for the day.